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  • Happy Gilmore Quotes: Our favorite lines and scenes

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    It's been more than 25 years since Happy Gilmore came out. And while Adam Sandler has continued to make some pretty great comedies (and we'll admit, some pretty bad ones too), for us - Happy Gilmore will always be one of his best. It's got all of the signature pieces we've come to expect from his movies, but there's just something else that makes it extra special. Maybe it's the mountain of funny quotes or Ben Stiller's hilarious cameo - either way, there's no doubt that a whole generation of fans grew up quoting this one line for line.

    Quick Access:

    Happy Gilmore Quotes

    1. The price is wrong, bitch!
    2. You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
    3. [to his golf ball] You little son of a bitch, ball! Why you don't you just go home? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? Answer me! Suck my white ass, Ball!
    4. Hey, my girlfriend is dead, you know. She fell off a cliff and died on impact.
    5. If I saw myself in clothes like that I’d have to kick my own ass.
    6. Just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy. Tap tap taparoo.
    7. Hey, why don't I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What'd ya say?
    8. I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.
    9. You’re gonna die, clown!
    10. During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.

    Shooter McGavin Quotes

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    1. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
    2. Damn you people, go back to your shanties.
    3. Just stay out of my way... or you'll pay! Listen to what I say!
    4. You lay another finger on me, I burn the house down and piss on the ashes.
    5. It's great, the other day one of his fans mooned me. He had Happy written on his ass. HA on the one cheek, and sure enough PPY on the other.
    6. Stop fraternizing with the help Gilmore. Just hit your ball.. if you can find it!
    7. Damn you people. This is golf. Not a rock concert.

    Ben Stiller Quotes

    Ben Stiller's role as the twisted, orderly nurse deserves a special mention. Even though he's in only a handful of scenes, he almost steals the show with his electric cameo.

    happy-gilmore-ben-stiller.gif

    1. You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
    2. My fingers hurt (old lady). Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty.
    3. You’re in my world now, grandma.

    More Quotes You'll Love

    1. Chubbs: “It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips.
    2. Chubbs: "Damned alligator bit my hand off."
    3. Bob Barker: "Now you’ve had enough.. bitch."
    4. Bob Barker: "I don’t want a piece of you, I want the whole thing!"
    5. Heckling Fan: "You suck, ya Jackass!"

    Hopefully your favorite quotes made the cut. Stay tuned as we'll continue to take a look at all of the best Adam Sandler movies, with Billy Madison next up.

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