To stop a million different threads containing one joke, please put all your one liner gags here. You don't need a poll for them anyway, now we have the Trashometre.

 

Any more threads containing individual jokes posted outside of here will be deleted.

 

Now, bring on the comedy.

I had ya mam!

 

YEAH!

I had ya mam!

 

YEAH!

 

 

 

He said "Bring on the comedy" johnny. The "comedy" not idiotic, pointless posts.

 

 

You don't need a poll for them anyway' date=' now we have the Trashometre.[/quote']

 

Oh yes, the Trash-o-meter is where its at. Its 100% accurate. :lol

I had ya mam!

 

YEAH!

 

 

Glad you decided not to spam any more JK.....

He said one liners

And adding the "YEAH!" makes it not a "one liner"?

 

Please, have some real input - you're showing your age a little too much

And so are you!

Wait, johnny - be quiet for just 2 minutes, because its time for...

The Trash joke of the week.

 

Check it out, its Tom's first ever joke of the week...

 

JOKE~!!

 

 

 

Oh, and also this cracker...

 

A little fella walks into a bar. Unfortunately, there is a pile of dog **** just inside the door, and he slips in it and falls over. He gets up, cleans himself up and walks to the bar and buys a drink.

 

A great big man then enters the bar. He slips in the same pile of ****, falls, gets up, cleans up and buys a drink.

 

The little guy turns to the big guy and, trying to strike up a conversation, points to the pile by the door and says, "I just did that."

 

The big guy punches him in the mouth.

 

 

I don't know about you, but that scores off the Trash-o-meter!

nice one Trash :D

Whats the difference between a nun in a church and a nun in a bath?

 

One has hope in her soul.........

They're making a new film about the world's biggest pancake.

 

It's called the greatest crepe.

my third joke *Adult Content*

 

Dinner with the Girlfriend's Parents joke

 

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have

dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the

girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would

like to go out and make love for the first time.

 

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so

he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The

pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy

everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

 

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms

he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy

insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather

busy, it being his first time and all.

 

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and

meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to

meet my parents, come on in!"

 

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the

girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace

and bows his head.

 

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his

head down.

 

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

 

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend

leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you

were this religious."

 

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was

a pharmacist

 

well what did you think about my third joke

I actually thought it was rather good!

http://www.funny.com is a great place isn't

****ADULT CONTENT**** A couple wee jokes...

 

Since everyone is having a go with their own (or so they say..most of them coming from different sites I recognise) I thought I'd tell a few of my jokes.

I do know these may well offend but I guess you can only take them as jokes..

 

The first isn't really a joke I must say but anyway (something a stand-up would say I think)...

 

'I had a night in with the wife..she dressed all kinky for me, by 10 o'clock I had a carlsberg in my hand, my **** in her mouth and my balls wiping across her chin..I groaned in pleasure and she looked up with a smile, I looked at her and said.......................................................................................................

................whata ****in Beer!!' :lol

 

2nd one may offend more I think...

 

'I got a text message last saturday morning..it was my brother..he said 'Comon Bro I've entered us in a marathon, be at my house for 10 sharp'...I sent him one back saying '**** off, No way I'm running a bloody marathon I can barely see straight after last night'..he quickly sent one back 'wise up Jonny, it's for the disabled!'..and I thought...'**** I might win that!'

 

Sorry if that offended

none of those offended me they were just lame

bit harsh for a 14 year old

We should get a big road sign over our bed that says "MERGE".

 

I've had to stick a few individual joke threads in here. Please pay attention to the sticky threads. Maybe one day I'll delete instead of merge and your pearls of comic wisdom will be lost forever.

Two lawyers hire a new cute, young secretary and a contest arises between them as to who can bed her first, even though they're both already married. Eventually one of them pulls her and his partner is quite eager to hear how things went. "So what did you think?" he asks.

"Ah," replies the first lawyer, "my wife is better."

Some time goes by, and then the second lawyer goes to bed with the secretary.

"So," asks the first guy, "what did you think?"

The second guy replies, "You were right."

 

 

 

What do you call a dog with no legs? Whatever you like but it won’t come over.

 

 

 

A man is walking along a beach when he notices walking towards him is a man with a very small head. When he approaches the man he cannot help himself asking, "Excuse me sir, but I have to ask, why do you have such a small head"? The Man replies " Well, I was walking along this very beach last week, when I noticed a shiny lamp poking out of the sand, picked it up and rubbed it and a beautiful, sexy genie came out. She said I had one wish, I looked her up and down and said, 'I wouldn't mind a little head'

An old chris rock one for yas..

 

Saw a protistute walking the sidewalk...came up and asked her how much , she said '300 Dollas and I'll do anything for ya!'..

'BITCH PAINT MY HOUSE!" :lol :lol

 

YA JUST CANT BEAT IT!!!...NO DONT EVEN TRY...NOPE NEVER>>>NEVER EVER EVER.... :(

Greatest Joke in the History of Jokes:

 

Two old men sitting on a bench

Old Man #1: Nice out, isn't it?

Old Man #2: Yes - I think I'll take mine out

 

There :D