Our family may have specific traditions passed from generations before us. Our ways of living may be influenced by our ethnical background. I have no problem conforming to such social rules, but sometimes I find things that don't make sense and don't benefit anyone but can't break away from it without looking like an arrogant, senseless youth.

Respect is a word that is hard to understand and follow. I also have the same problem when it comes to social traditions in the family. Why is it that the younger generations always have to respect the wishes of the older ones? I don't want to change their tradition, but I would like them to respect my decisions as well.

Our family may have specific traditions passed from generations before us. Our ways of living may be influenced by our ethnical background. I have no problem conforming to such social rules, but sometimes I find things that don't make sense and don't benefit anyone but can't break away from it without looking like an arrogant, senseless youth.

My suggestion is discussing it with a close relative, asking them how certain traditions benefit the people involved. You may appear arrogant if you just distance yourself or show total lack of respect for the traditions.

My suggestion is discussing it with a close relative, asking them how certain traditions benefit the people involved. You may appear arrogant if you just distance yourself or show total lack of respect for the traditions.

That's the ideal answer. Most of the times they know a few things are off, but it isn't exactly easy to just change it or stop doing the tradition because of the legacy. "I know, but just deal with it," is the answer I hear a lot.

Sort of like it's considered a tradition in some families to serve in the military or to attend a certain prestigious school? Some parents put gobs of pressure on their kids.

I come from a family of hardcore Catholics. Thankfully, they're also mostly liberal, so it's sort of okay to not be Catholic later in life, but it'll hurt a lot of feelings. The faithful family members will pray for that relative over and over and over. They'll also sneak in random crucifixes and hide them throughout that person's home "just in case." It's nothing too drastic, but there's definitely some pull to stick with tradition.

My family has no major legacy to uphold. I suppose that's one good thing about being average. One of my best mates is Jewish and he is heavily pressured to fall in line with those beliefs and traditions. Anytime he balks, his parents remind him of his great-grandparents who were murdered at Auschwitz. That's heavy stuff.