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Critique/roast your favourite wrestler


Guest The Beltster

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Guest The Beltster

Hulk Hogan

 

- When you lost interest in wrestling in 1992, you should have left and stayed gone until you wanted to wrestle again and not come back in 1993 obviously not giving a sh*t and putting in ZERO effort.

 

- You should never EVER go on TV or radio and do interviews, because you lie alot and you arent a good liar. Everything you says actually sounds like lies and people are laughing at you, and your fans who want to defend you are cringing.

 

- You refuse to wrestle your Japanese style in the USA even when it would shut up alot of your doubters and show you can wrestle when you want to.

 

- Your bad mouthing of pretty much every wrestler who you feel threatened by has cost us several dream matches, most recently with Steve Austin.

 

- Your entire excistance is a work and you cannot seperate fantasy from reality.

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Raven

 

- Never bleach your hair blond again

 

- Stop being so arrogant. As good as you are, you never drew significant money for a major promotion and are lucky to have the position in TNA that you do after a lot of your recent matches

 

- Stop shouting in your promos. You sound like a knob when you shout. In the same way, it was stupid to come out after your babyface title win and talk in intellectual babble. If no one understands you, no one cares unless you have the electricity of the Warrior, which you don't

 

- Lose the gut

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Boogeyman

 

- You can't wrestle like Chris Benoit.

 

- Worms are not a healthy and nutritional diet.

 

- Your attacks on the Ts have been unprovoked.

 

- You lied on Tough Enough.

 

- You have often threatened to come and get me, yet have so far failed to deliver.

 

- Your fog makes visibility poor.

 

- You don't do your nursery rhymes any more.

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Shawn Micheals

 

-Enough of the whole 'God' thing. Stop putting cross logos on your shirts and merchandise.

 

-Get some freakin muscles! Your looking a bit scrawny out there.

 

-The Iron Man match blowed really. It was just a bunch of rest holds half the time!

 

-Don't come out in suits. I hate them.

 

-Chewing gum during matches is a hazard. YOU WILL CHOKE!

 

-Enough of the Flair chops. Your not Flair. You will never be Flair. WOOOOOO!

 

-You being heel sucks. Ummm......ya....it just sucks.

 

-Use proper grammar when you say 'Showstoppa'. Its 'Showstopper' with 'er' at the end, not 'Showstoppa' with an 'a'!!!!

Edited by yoyo
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Guest Drake

You smoking crack there YoYo? Heel Michaels > Face Michaels.

 

Although I agree about the suit, Flair chops and God part.

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Guest SuperKick Kid

Shawn Michaels

 

Enough with the whole face thing, show off your heel goodness

 

Your match with Hogan sucked

 

Quit overselling

 

Like Yo Yo said, quit it with the chops

 

And also like Yo Yo said, no more suits

 

Your book didnt have a genuine feel to it, because it was ghost written.

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Guest Drake
Shawn Michaels

 

Enough with the whole face thing, show off your heel goodness

 

Your match with Hogan sucked

 

Quit overselling

 

Like Yo Yo said, quit it with the chops

 

And also like Yo Yo said, no more suits

 

Your book didnt have a genuine feel to it, because it was ghost written.

Shawn Michaels you'r favorite wrestler? Naww, this can't be true.:P

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Mick Foley

 

-It's good for you to use your star power to put over the up & comers, but if you keep doing it you'll no longer be seen as a legitimate opponent.

 

-You've never looked good naked.

 

-Didn't you tell your wife and children that you wouldn't do the hardcore/crazy bump thing anymore?

 

-Doing such f***ed up things with barbed wire and thumbtacks makes people doubt your sanity.

 

-John Cena regularly pulls off more moves than you.

 

-Why haven't you won another King of the Deathmatch tournament? You know that if you participated you'd be a lock for the win.

 

Hulk Hogan

 

- You should never EVER go on TV or radio and do interviews, because you lie alot and you arent a good liar. Everything you says actually sounds like lies and people are laughing at you, and your fans who want to defend you are cringing.

 

- Your entire excistance is a work and you cannot seperate fantasy from reality.

 

He's not lying. He's refusing to break kayfabe! :D

Edited by Twig
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Matt Hardy

 

-Learn my phone number...

 

-Please PLEASE stop shouting...

 

-Hunt Edge down and kick his a***

 

-You're getting a wee bit of a gut...Work on that

 

-You're fading into the background-bitch and whine until they push you a bit more,please

 

-Get Jeff back

 

-I repeat, learn my number...

Edited by Nimf
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Mickie James:

 

- You let Dory Funk take naked pictures of you just so you could get trained, you know there are other wrestling schools that just accept money.

 

- Your Marrying Ken Doane!! and if thats not bad enough, HE'S 20! and your 27!.....7 year gap! ......marrying an older woman say 2 or 3 years older is fien, but 7 years older! alittle to young to be getting married, say goodbye to your life Kenny.

 

...thats all.

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Vince McMahon (as a performer only, to go into his promotion side would take to long)

 

- Learn to f'n walk bub

 

- DO NOT, under ANY circumstances feel it is ok to show off your ass

 

- You are in your 60s for f*ck sake....you should not be flirting/having an affairs/getting jiggy with any of the divas...with the exception of May & Moolah

 

- Keep saying the word "Hell" in an overblown, and frankly disturbing way

 

- Learn how to give the finger correctly

 

- Actually pick a fight you can win

 

- You are not, I repeat, are not a GENETIC JACHAMMER, so please refrain from putting images of you and Linda in sexual positions from our minds...it's bad enough thinking about how our parents have done it, never mind a 60 year old man and a walking mannequin

 

- Shane is good in the ring, keep putting him in matches

 

- And finally..........never, ever, ever, ever turn face again, cos no-one believes you, and we're all just waiting for the time when you go heel again....just stay heel.

 

 

And a few for the promoter Vince after all....

 

- Size isn't important...just ask Linda

 

- Don't hire someone because of what you have seen them do elsewhere, then tell them they can't do that once they are in the company....

 

- Cruiserweights are not the punchline to some sick joke

 

- Boogeyman does not belong in the ring

 

- But you're doing alright I suppose

 

- One more thing......please convince Shane to take over the company when you die and go to hell.....HHH is not the man to run the company IMO........not that you'll take my opinion on board though......seeing as how you've been in the business your whole life and all and are a billionaire, while I've been in it for 10 years and I am skint.......I guess you may know something about what you are doing after all.

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- One more thing......please convince Shane to take over the company when you die and go to hell.....HHH is not the man to run the company IMO........

 

HHH isnt the man to run the company, but Shane is? im sorry but wasnt Shane the one that wanted to give the Mean Street Posse a big push? wasnt Shane the one that wanted Test to be the WWE Champion? yeh, thats what i thought.

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Guest MrFill

Kurt:

 

- Please take some time off to get your neck fixed and let it heal.

 

- Your arms are beginning to look scary, please get yourself sorted out.

 

- When you lock in an Ankle Lock, you know people are going to try to kick out, so why not just grapevine the leg?

 

- Comedy is your forte, so please don't try to be all serious on us, we just want the funny kookie Kurt back.

 

- Why do you let people kick out of the Super Angle Slam? It's a SUPER ANGLE SLAM~! So nobody should kick out - EVER~! Especially not Shawn Michaels.

 

 

That's all, because you're brilliant otherwise.

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HHH isnt the man to run the company' date=' but Shane is? im sorry but wasnt Shane the one that wanted to give the Mean Street Posse a big push? wasnt Shane the one that wanted Test to be the WWE Champion? yeh, thats what i thought.[/quote']

Way to make DC's proposition sound even better.

 

Seriously, you never do your arguments any favours, Mr.P.

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Guest Keith Would

There is something wrong with this thread. That's it, it is titled "roast" but I haven't seen premiership footballers mentioned anywhere!

 

 

- Learn how to give the finger correctly

 

 

American's can't give the finger correctly. I don't know why, it's not hard.

 

Kurt Angle:

- stop wearing that mouth guard and grunting

- go back to being goofy

 

Edge:

- stop doing the spear, you suck at it. Start doing the Edgecution and the other similar osunding moves, they are much better.

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Guest MrFill
There is something wrong with this thread. That's it' date=' it is titled "roast" but I haven't seen premiership footballers mentioned anywhere![/quote']

Erm, what has a Roast got to do with Premiership footballers? It's a comedy thing that's been going on for years where other comedians basically take the piss out of you, and everybody has a good laugh - usually the person ends up taking the piss out of themselves as well.

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Guest MojoPogo

Snitsky - Ok, we get it, it WASNT your fault. The beard, however is. You know what to do.

 

Lashley- come on, dude, lets see you REALLY let rip and go to town, then we'll see if you ARE the next next big thing or not.....

 

Finlay - carry on whooping ass mate!

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