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Two guys stood in a field, one says to the other "I was atrificially insenimated today" the other says "No you weren't, you're lying" the other says "Yes I was, that's straight up, no bull".


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Man goes into a pub and says "Six brandys please" he knocks the six brandys back and says "Six more" he then says to the barmaid "I shouldn't be drinking like this with what i've got" The barmaid asks "What have you got" he says "Fck all"


Man goes to the psychiatrist and says "Can you help me out?" the psychiatrist says "Which way did you come in?"


Man goes to the doctor and says "I'm a failure, doctor, i've wasted my life" the doctor says "Well, tell me about your life" the man says "I went to school, got my 11 plus, went to Sixth form, passed my exams, got my A-levels, went to university and became a probation officer" the doctor asks "How have you wasted your life?" the ma says "I wanted to be a bin man".


There's a lad sat in the front of the car with his girlfriend, and he's kissing her and whispering sweet nothings in her ear, then he says "Get in the back" she said "No" he said "Come on, get in the back" she says "No" he says "Just get in the back" she says "No" he says "Why not?" she says "I wanna stop in the front with you".

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Guest Maximinn

Haaaa! It funny because you think he means cool like popular but he actually means cool like temperature!



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Two attendants on the boating lake, one shouts out "Come on number 91 your time's up" the other said "We've only got 90 boats" the other then shouts "Are you having trouble number 16?"
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