Words of Wisdom

[Guest Dean]

Put any funny words of wisdom here....

 

"It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger."

 

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

 

"If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling."

 

"Please tell your pants that it is not polite to point."

 

"If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people."

 

"Constipated people don't give a crap."

 

"All true wisdom is found on T-shirts."

 

"Don't judge a book by its movie."

 

"When all else fails, follow instructions."

 

"Never hit a man with glasses; hit him with your fist."

 

"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard."

 

"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."

 

"On the other hand, the early worm gets eaten..."

 

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

 

"When everything comes your way, you're in the wrong lane."

 

"The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train."

 

"Change is inevitable, except from vending machines."

 

"Two rules in life are deny everything, and now I have no idea what you're talking about."

 

"Nobody ever died from hard work, but I don't wanna take the risk."

 

"If an idiot throws a grenade at you, pull the pin and throw it back".

 

"You're unique, just like everyone else." (my favorite)

 

"There are only three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count, and those who can't."

[Guest Latino Reheat]

I remember posting a topic like this a while back, and got a whole heap of negativity.

Anyway here are a few -

 

*If at first you don't succeed - so much for skydiving.*

 

*Curiosity kills more mice than cats.*

 

*What the large print giveth - the small print taketh away*

 

*I used to want to save the world; now I just want to leave the room with some dignity*

 

*The amount of sleep needed by the average person is ten minutes more.*

 

*The pen is mightier than the pencil.*

 

*Money no longer talks - it just goes without saying*

 

*It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.*

 

*Does the expiration date on sour cream mean the date it becomes good?*