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I'm A TWO Regular....... Get Me Out Of Here!: THE EPISODES

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Dec: This plot of Australian outback here in New South Wales will never be the same...


Ant: 10 TWO Regulars got selected to enter the jungle, giving up their lives of internet luxury for the show....


Dec: For the next two weeks, you will be the ones who have the power over what they do...


Ant: How long will it be until one of them is forced into saying;



--Theme music--


Ant: Welcome, to I'm a TWO regular, get me out of here. Just hours ago, 10 regulars from Talk Wrestling Online entered the jungle. Here's what they're up to as we speak...


Most of the regulars are catching up on some sleep, but Goldy and Cripp are up already, making some breakfast for the rest of the 'tribe'. They're chatting, but because of Ant and Dec, we can't

hear what they're saying. Suddenly, Russ gets out of bed, and comes over to the two cookers. The mood between the three of them seems fairly relaxed


Dec: They've just spent their first night in the jungle and to be honest, they seem to be coping alright..


Ant: Yeah, no tantrums or fighting as of yet.... but we can only hope!


Dec: Just in case you're not familiar with the participants in the show, here's a brief profile of each member of the tribe:






Notes: GIRLFRIEND* of SmashWrestling.com owner Groov, married and divorced with TWO owner Kam.

Phobias: Bugs and snakes

Thoughts: "I'm looking forward to the challenge, I just hope I don't get voted to do any trials!





Notes: Video Games forum leader, steals other people's awards

Phobias: Heights, normality

Thoughts: "My shoe likes to be called Gerald!"





Notes: Writes UK Scene reports for the newsletter

Phobias: Bugs and heights

Thoughts: "It'll be hard to leave my family, but the experience will be awesome!"





Notes: Has an average post length of 1000 words

Phobias: Snakes

Thoughts: "I'll need some determination, but I think I have the guts to survive. What it all boils down to is having the guts to change your environment from sitting at home staring out at the rain, to a blazing heat and having to sleep under the stars, not knowing where your next meal will come from. It seems as though we are moving back to the days of our early ancestors, and learning how they had to survive in the most extreme of conditions, and I've never been one to turn down the chance for another page of experience to add to my life."





Notes: TWO legend, ran the TWO Hall of Fame

Phobias: Bugs and snakes

Thoughts: "As the youngest member, it might be hard, but I can handle it!"





Notes: Happiest TWO member, creator of Pab Badges

Phobias: Heights

Thoughts: "With my optimism, the jungle should be a walkover!"





Notes: Only member to have a thread all about him

Phobias: Heights, spiders and snakes

Thoughts: "I think the whole thing will be jolly good!"





Notes: TWO Forum and Chat mod, owner of 'Russland.cjb.net'

Phobias: Spiders, mirrors

Thoughts: "As Scott Keith once said, this should be easy!"



Sabba Simba


Notes: Other Sports Forum leader, Millwall fan

Phobias: Heights, snakes

Thoughts: "Should be a good couple of weeks, hopefully it'll be fun!"



The Crippler


Notes: Only Forum mod who is not a chat mod, former TWO-IC Champion

Phobias: Snakes, heights

Thoughts: "It'll either be the best holiday or the worst experience I'll ever have!"




Ant: So there are our victims, I mean our competitors, but of course, they don't make the decisions,

that is up to you, the general public!


Dec: And to do that, you have to vote for the person to take on the first Bushtucker trial....


Ants In Your Pants!!


Ant: WHAT?! I'm not going in someone's pants!


Dec: No, not you, but these....


The first Bushtucker Trial involves 10 jugs of different jungle wildlife being poured into the novelty pants. There will be biting, scratching, and general restlessness.... but which one

will have to take on the trial.....?


Ant: To vote for the member you want to take on the trial, click the link below, and make your choice!


Voting Page


Dec: Now, last night, there was already a small incident as to who was going to cook first. Now the old saying is 'too many cooks spoil the broth', but in this case... there weren't any cooks in the first place!


Sabba, Nicole, MLM and PK are standing around the fire. Each of them has their own argument as to why they shouldn't do the cooking.....


Sabba: The last time I cooked something, the fire brigade had to come and put it out!


PK: Ha Ha! But still, you'd be much happier if you got better wouldn't you?


Nicole: Well there's no way I'm putting my hands in all that yukky rice....


MLM: Come on everyone, let's act a little more grown up shall we, why don't we all cook the meal tonight?


Pabster: Yeah! Come on everyone, let's all join together and help each other out!


After the meal has been cooked, everyone agrees that the meal was delicious, and they thank Pabster for sorting

everything out.


Ant: INCIDENT? It was just a bit of a discussion as to who was going to cook!


Dec: I did say small....


Ant: Anyway, the time had come for the group to decide who would be the leader for the first day in the camp.


Dec: One by one, they all came to the bush telegraph, and voted for who they thought should be the leader....


Chyna votes for: Russ

Colin votes for: Sabba

Goldy votes for: Pabster

MLM votes for: Pabster

Nicole votes for: Russ

Pabster votes for: Crippler

PK votes for: Sabba

Russ votes for: Russ

Sabba votes for: Pabster

Cripp votes for: Pabster


Later, Chyna is given the note revealing the result:


Chyna: The person that has been voted the leader for tomorrow is: Pabster!


Pabster: Thanks a lot everyone. I think we need to give ourselves specific tasks, so MLM and Cripp, I want you to gather as much wood for the fire as possible, Nic and Goldy, you go look for the Community Chest, and everyone else, help with the cooking!


Ant: So, Pab already making arrangements for today's activities, let's look in the camp now....


All the camp are now up, and are eating the breakfast of rice and beans. All of them are awaiting Ant and Dec going

into the camp to announce the first trialist... but who will it be?


Dec: Now 8 out of the 10 participants in the show are afraid of slithery spineless things that live in the jungle...


Ant: Sports agents?


Dec: No, not quite that bad.... just snakes.


Ant: Snake?! Where?!


Ant throws himself to the floor as the camera crew start to laugh


Dec: Hmm.... anyway, last night, the camp had to deal with their fear, as Colin's bed became invaded....



Colin makes his way over to his bed, but is suddenly starts to move away...


Colin: Uh-oh....


Nicole: What is it?


Colin: There's a snake in my bed!


PK: Hit it!


Sabba: How big is it?


Colin: Big enough! Who's not scared of snakes around here?


Russ: I'm not, but I'm trying to floss my toes....


Goldy: Move out the way you lot!


Goldy quickly picks up the snake, and moves it out of the way back into the trees...


Colin: MY HEROINE!!!


Goldy: It was nothing...


Colin: No... I need my heroin.... QUICKLY!


The camp laugh, as we head back to Dec and a now vertical again Ant


Ant: So, that's what went on in the camp yesterday, join us again tomorrow as we reveal the first person who will face a Bushtucker Trial.


Dec: The voting poll will remain open until 6 O'clock tomorrow night, so make your vote count!


Ant: We'll see you tomorrow!




Voting Page


*Thanks to Chy for pointing that out ;)

Edited by Chris2K
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I'm a little worried....


36 people have 'read the show', yet I've only received 8 votes, all of which have been from the participants


I hope people realise that EVERYONE is allowed to vote, it is what would be called a General public Vote.


Please vote.... :)

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Guest MillionLiraMan

The other participants have voted?! I was trying to remain neutral, since I'm one of the ones involved, but if evryone else is voting then I'd better think about picking someone.


By the way Chris, I didn't think anyone could get the long-windedness quite right, but it seems that you have! :xyx


That comment about Russ flossing his toes also have me laughing pretty hard! :)

Edited by MillionLiraMan
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Guest ......cjr......

Can i say who i voted for to take the challenge?


Also that rules. Its a good read, cant wait till the next one. Keep up the good work Chris.


Thanks CJR

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Dec: It's 5:30 in the morning in Southern Australia, hardly the place you'd expect 10 people to be....


Ant: With it threatening to rainl, and a Bushtucker Trial to worry about, how long will it be until someone cries:


Both: I'm a TWO Regular.... GET ME OUT OF HERE!


--Theme Music--


Dec: Welcome to I'm a TWO Regular Get Me Out Of Here, on what is a relatively cold morning in the jungle.


Ant: You've been voting for who you want to participate in the first Bushtucker Trial; 'Ants in your Pants', and, just to destroy a few idle rumours that have been circling, I will NOT be jumping in the pants of one of the regulars.


Dec: Isn't that at the after-show party?


Ant hits Dec with a frying pan


Ant: Now with you voting non-stop, the regulars have every reason to be worried about what trial they might have to face....


The scene changes to MLM, Russ, Chyna and Nicole sitting around the group fire.


Russ: What was the first challenge in the celebrity show?


Nicole: Didn't Fash have to put a load of bugs in those stupid pants?


MLM: Yeah, it was something like that. Looked pretty awful if you ask me.


Chyna: Bugs... eww Chyna pouts


Russ: Bugs are fine! You just gotta know how to handle 'em!


Pabster, Sabba and Crippler are talking in a seperate part of the camp


Sabba: Do you reckon one of us will get the trial?


Crippler: Depends. People will either vote against us to humiliate the mods, or not vote for us because we're mods.


Pabster: Hey come on guys, if we do get voted for, it'll be a great experience!


Crippler and Sabba look at Pab in a strange way. It appears as though a beam of sunshine is shining on Pab only....


Dec: Tonight, you will be given the chance to vote for who you want to be in the second Bushtucker trial. The title of tomorrow's trial is....




Ant: If you hadn't guessed, the trial involves one of the tribe jumping into a swamp full of crocodiles, and retrieve 10 starts situated around it.


Dec: To vote, click below and register!




Ant: As we revealed on yesterday's show, Pab was voted to be the leader of the camp for the day, so it was his choice as to whom would go and look for the 'Community Chest'.


Dec: Now in case you don't know, the Community Chest is a... chest... for the community. It basically contains a question, and if they get the answer right, they will get a little treat. If they get it wrong however... they get an even littler treat.


Ant: Pab decided that it should be 'Ladies first', and with Nicole and Goldy already starting to complain about being bored, he sent them on a mission to retrieve the chest.


Nic and Goldy, both with determined expressions on their faces, head out of the camp to cries of 'good luck' from assorted members of the tribe. Goldy has the map, and she orders Nic to go due north.


Nic: Right....


Goldy: Niccy, that's south!


Nic: No it's not, the compass says this way's north!


Goldy: Give it here....


Nic: See!


Goldy: Oh yeah, sorry!


Goldy walks off, and Nic shakes her head, before following on. The scene then cuts to a river, and Goldy and Nic are thinking of the best way to cross it.


Nic: We could use the stones over there...


Goldy: Are you sure this is the right way? Surely they wouldn't make us swim across a river....


Nic: Goldy, the stones...


Goldy: Pass us the map again Nic....




Goldy: Oh yeah. Calm down Nic, don't have a heart attack!


The entrepid duo finally reach the chest, which is suspended high in a tree. Goldy reads out the note left at the bottom;


Goldy: "To reach the chest that above you lies, one of you must start to fly. Head across to find a wire, and then you'll get what you desire."


Nicole: I'll go up there.


Goldy: Are you sure?


Nicole: Yeah, should be fun!


Nic attaches herself to a harness, and goes down the zip wire, landing on a platform where the chest is. She gently lowers it to the floor. The scene then cuts to them taking the chest back to the camp.


Ant: In many ways, that was the easy part done. Now, the group had to decide what the answer was.....


All the camp are hunched around the chest. Pab reads out the question:


Pab: How many posts does ChrisFromBirtley have? Is it A: Over 400, or B: Between 200 and 400




Colin runs away from the camp


Crippler: He hasn't been here that long, and he doesn't post in the wrestling forums much. I think between 200 and 400.


PK: I agree with The Crippler, that seems logical.


MLM: Well there's several ways of looking at it. If he doesn't post in the wrestling forums much, that doesn't automatically mean that he doesn't have very many posts. Take a look at people like Chyna, Jess and Peter Richards, they don't post much in the wrestling forums, yet they still have a good number of posts between them. Admittedly, they have been here longer than people such as ChrisfromBirtley and myself, so it is hard to say.


Nicole: What do you think?


MLM: I think it's 200 to 400.


Russ: ChrisfromBirtley? Didn't Pab try to get him banned?


Pabster: Oi Russ! Come on lads and laddesses, let's make a decision.


Sabba: I think we're going for 200-400.


Pabster: Ok....


Pabster opens the A Box. It's the wrong answer. Their consolation prize is a framed picture of DraVen to be hung up on the tree of their choice.


Dec: So, they get a picture for getting the answer wrong. But later on, disaster strikes....


PK: Goldy dearie, can you pass me my toothbrush?


Goldy: Sure thing...


On her way to PK's bed, Goldy brushes the picture of DraVen, sending it flying to the ground, smashing the frame, and making the sound of glass breaking...


Goldy: Oops....




MLM and PK start doing Austin salutes on the trees, and Crippler gives Sabba a pretend Stunner. Meanwhile, Goldy looks rather embarressed and upset at breaking the picture....


Ant and Dec are now standing by the camp. They are just about to head in to announce the result of the vote.


Ant: Good morning!


Tribe: Morning!


Dec: Got rid of all the glass yet?


The tribe laugh


Dec: Now the viewers at home have been voting for who they want to do the first Bushtrucker Trial. I can tell you now that the title of the first trial is: Ants in your Pants.


Ant: And that's NOTHING to do with me!


The tribe laugh again, but the audience don't, because they've already heard the joke


Ant: Right. Crippler...... It's not you.


Dec: Sabba..... It's not you either.


Ant: Russ.... it's not you either sir.


Dec: Chyna.... it's not going to be you.


Ant: Nicole..... it won't be you.


Dec: Goldy...... it MIGHT be you.


Ant: PK....... it won't be you.


Dec: Pabster...... it's not you.


Ant: MLM.... it isn't you.


Dec: Which leaves you Colin, and it might be you.


Ant: We can now tell you that the public have decided that the person taking on 'Ants in your Pants' will be....











Goldy looks relieved, and the group swarm around Colin to comiserate him. Hugs are exchanged between the members, as Ant and Dec head out of the camp.


Dec: So Colin will be taking the bushtucker trial today, but vote now for who you want to take part in 'Crocodile Hunter'.


Ant: Remember, the slate is wiped clean, so you'll have to vote again!


Dec: We'll see you tomorrow night, on I'm a TWO Regular, Get Me Out Of Here!






Please vote :)

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Guest Goldy
Hehe thats really good Chris, your very talented!! I was actually scared at the end lol! :D It's a very funny read, you have MLM down perfectly and Colin with the CFB question - classic! and Nic really would shout at me! :D
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Guest MillionLiraMan

That was fantastic Chris, like Goldy said you really do have a talent for this sort of thing! Oh yeah, I almost forgot:


It appears as though a beam of sunshine is shining on Pab only....




Superb! The glass breaking thing was class as well, I don't know how you come up with some of this stuff!

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Guest Nicole
Lmao I'm the moodiest cow there...much like real life :D Poor goldy, she had to feel my wrath....and I piccy of Dra...BWAAHAHAHAHA classic
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