Dead Crow

I'm glad that ROH production has improved since I last saw it, then. Then again, the producer is bleeding through on PWS every now and then, and the color commentator is doubling up as ring announcer which doesn't help. Doesn't matter now, though, as Tommy Dreamer is beating up some poor kid's testicles as we speak. I like his opponent, mind. "WE WANT TABLES!" "I don't CARE what you want."

Nova (aka. Scott Hall in his Elvis phase) and Chris Chetti (the fat one from East 17) are reuniting for one night only. I imagine they bumped into each other at McDonalds because they sure have piled the weight on. Their opponents are Hurricane Helms and what can only be described as a mini condom with a star on it. AMAZING! Seriously. Just imagine a condom with a blue star-shaped stain on it. That is exactly what this Starman looks like. Chetti and Nova won. Nova did some really cool stuff; Chetti was blown up trying to get the pin. Afterwards, they thanked everyone. Nice guys. Sorry that this isn't Wrestlemania talk, but it is Mania' weekend and that includes everything that goes on around it. It's a whole week of stuff and it's exciting to get into the mood with Iron Sheik shouting at russian jews.

I'm sure that many people are enjoying ROH right now, but PWS is really really fun. Vader beat up some trainee kid and now Iron Sheik and Volkoff are having a conversation. Volkoff is singing the Russian national anthem and the fans are all respecting Russia with their heads to their hands. Now some young kid is attacking Volkoff with the Camel Clutch and Sheik is calling Volkoff a "cheap jew son of a bitch" and yet, in the midst of this heel turn, shouting at the fans to give him a hell yeah. This is wonderful. I don't care if it looks like a cheap indy promotion. It's a fun promotion.

UPDATE: Highspots fixed everything for me, so I have the PWS stream up now. Highspots are fine. We like Highspots now.

No PWS for me, it seems. Highspots TV are a bag of d*cks. I paid $9.99 for the PPV, but to watch it you have to sign up for their website. This is fine, except it's not because it costs a minimum of $9.99 to do so, in order to access a day pass for On Demand videos. Their twitter account told me that I can bypass this through logging in, but I don't have login credentials because I haven't spent $9.99 to get them, nor have they sent me anything through my Paypal purchase. I could pay for the day pass, but why should I pay $9.99 to watch a show I just paid $9.99 to watch? In conclusion, Highspots have duffed me out of $9.99. I will not be doing anything through Highspots and its sack of sh** website any more. Stick to ROH.

Pro Wrestling Syndicate tonight. New Jack retires, Liger faces Morrison, and Vader commissions stuff. $9.99, fun times! Buy!

[video=youtube;7ErY8UMoguc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ErY8UMoguc

http://i.imgur.com/4Ez2zSb.jpg How does Jimmy Hart not age? Why does Jimmy Hart not age?!

I imagine he looks fatter, but probably still pretty decent.

Count on for what? For letting his contract expire? For walking out when creative goes a little weird?

Alvarez reporting that Foley will now be on the televised show.

Alright guys, I'm taking this from the newest Wrestling Observer but here is your weekend of wrestling. Get it memorised and get your priorities sorted. TONIGHT 8pm ET / 1am UK - Pro Wrestling Syndicate - Liger v Richards v Nese, Morrison v Burke, RNR Express v Briscoes - (iPPV at http://www.HighSpots.com) FRIDAY 4pm ET / 9pm UK - Evolve - Title Tournament - (iPPV at http://www.WWNLive.com) 7:30pm ET / 12:30am UK - Ring of Honor - Steen v J. Briscoe, Lethal v Elgin, Anderson v Strong - (iPPV at http://www.ROHwrestling.com) 8pm ET / 1am UK - Pro Wrestling Syndicate - New Jack v Butcher, Morrison v Liger, Helms/Starman v Chetti/Nova - (iPPV at http://www.HighSpots.com) SATURDAY 12pm ET / 5pm UK - Shimmer 53 - Saraya v Melissa [Cage Match], Kong v Yim - (iPPV at http://www.WWNLive.com) 8pm ET / 1am UK - Dragon Gate USA - Gargano v Takagi, Cima/Fox v Bucks, Tozawa v Ricochet - (iPPV at http://www.WWNLive.com) SUNDAY 3am ET / 8am UK - NJPW - Tanahashi v Okada; Conway v Kojima for the NWA heavyweight title; Tenzan/Nakanishi/Super Strong Machine/Akebono v Sapp/Iizuka/Ishii/Yoshi-Hashi - (iPPV at Online Video Platform ) 1pm ET / 6pm UK - Dragon Gate USA - Gargano/Ricochet/Swann vs. Cima/Eita/?, Kendrick v Taylor - (iPPV at http://www.WWNLive.com) 6pm ET / 11pm UK - CMLL 70th Anniversary - Rojo Jr. v Sombra - (watch FREE at http://www.terra.com.mx) 7pm ET / Midnight UK - Wrestlemania XXX - Rock v Cena, Punk v Undertaker, HHH v Lesnar - (buy it, you cheap wrestling fan b*stard.) My personal pick would be the Pro Wrestling Syndicate show tomorrow night. New Jack has his final match vs. Necro Butcher, Big Van Vader is the guest commissioner, Bret Hart and others will be there, and Morrison v Liger should be shithot. Only $9.99 too: http://highspots.tv/ippv-pws-supercard-2013-night-2-04-05-2013/

I know it's early days yet, since we have 29 to get out of the way, but is anyone considering going to Wrestlemania 30? 30th anniversary, big show, and the whole weekend experience of a shedload of wrestling in one city is enough to make me think that it may be a ton of fun (if Fandango doesn't dance).

I imagine it was more that Stephanie wanted to do it, whether Lita was free or not. Rumours leaning towards Stevie Ray inducting Booker T, and for Mick Foley to maybe get more TV time than people expect.

-- Oh boy, here's The Rock! And people are actually making some noise now. Man, if you didn't know who the star was... -- Rock just had to make sure that the guys in the front row were, in fact, the New York Giants. Long flights take it out of you, I guess. Wouldn't know. Not a movie star. -- Rock is, though. This guy, THIS guy knows how to give a speech at a press conference. No silly dances or scripted jokes or anything, just a guy who seems humble and sincere in being allowed to headline a major show at New York/New Jersey. Nothing compares to beating up John Cena, so he's going to do it on Sunday. -- Puts Cena over super big. "No one is a better opponent for me than Cena." -- "Thank you... it's time to electrify." But first, Rock must sleep. Poor guy. -- And speaking of Cena, Cole introduces him now.A couple of zany Cena jokes, but it gets a laugh from the press so what can you do. -- Scripted rehearsed company speech, but no one better to produce this speech. -- Cena repeats the speech in French and Chinese. I hope to GOD that he was actually reciting genuine Chinese, no less because I've been watching this for most of the day: [video=youtube;omfO6ooInP4] I hope that this isn't what Cena just did. -- Now there's a photo op between Cena and Rock. And once again, you can tell the difference between the photo op expert and John Cena. Now everyone else is here too - Punk, Show, Henry, The Bellas, HHH, Steph, Fandango... and Vince is between Rock and Cena, hugging his two money makers. A nice side glance from Punk, who clearly can see where Vince's loyalties lie. And now the press conference is over, but someone hasn't dropped the audio, so Matt Striker is currently directing the intro for a post-conference interview. Still surprises me that the interviewers actually get a little leeway over their own presentation. "I'll bring you in, but not yet. Not yet." And now someone has finally noticed. Good conference. Did nothing to make the press look at WWE as anything less than a goofy circus clown, but still. The Rock saved it.

-- OH GOD THE COMEDY GOES ON... -- The pre-show of Mania will be going for an hour this year, and streamed across multiple avenues. -- WWE is all about putting smiles on peoples faces. Genuinely, this is what Stephanie said. Smiles on faces, like the sons of Paul Bearer. -- Mercifully, it's over. -- Sorry, I lied. Mark Henry just turned up. -- And he sounds f*cking TIRED! -- Mark henry has been with the WWE for 17 years (and I remember the first two of them, which is quite scary) and will beat up Ryback and eat some cookies. Not his exact words, but close enough. -- WAYNE HASNOBALL?!?! -- Oh, Wayne Hasenbalg, of that well known whatever thing he does. He's proud to host Wrestlemania because he and his team pitched NY for Wrestlemania and Vince accepted and everyone had a party. With cookies, right Mark? -- WWE do a lot for charity. Like, loads. You could only dream of being as half-angelic and amazing as WWE are. Near enough his exact words, honestly. -- CM Punk is here! -- Punk isn't here to bore you like Vince did. People actually clapped and cheered that, which amused me deeply. He's also wearing a Cesaro t-shirt, because Punk likes to stick up for his darlings. -- Punk will break The Undertaker. Short, simple and to the point. Good.

And more... -- Wrestlemania = jobs, jobs and jobs. New York and New Jersey love jobs. -- New York Giants w/ their WWE super bowl championship title are in the front row. -- Here's Triple H! Introduced by Michael Cole as "Paul 'Triple H' Levesque". -- "Are you ready?!" asked Hunter, answered by nobody ever. Stephanie runs in for a short "comedy" moment to take off his wrestling hat and put on the corporate hat. Stephanie sounds like a pretty old man right now. -- Another name added to the social media ambassador list: "the band Coldplay!" If anything made me not want to watch Wrestlemania, it's the band Coldplay. -- Hunter and Stephanie seem like a very likable couple, but they should not do comedy. Comedy is bad. MORE SOON!!!

Conference notes as it embarrasses on... -- Lil' Wayne, Snooki, Jimmy Fallon and Charlie Sheen will be around, or on Twitter, or trying desperately to stay alive during the night. -- Diddy and Living Colour perform live. -- Michael Bloomberg will be doing stuff with the charity side of Wrestlemania. -- Vince McMahon is growing his hair out again. Sounds like a very old man right now, but very excited for the hybrid of sports entertainment and the thrill ride of Wrestlemania. -- Ricardo introduced Del Rio. Del Rio said some stuff, then repeated it in Mexican. "I am Alberto Del Rio, born in Mexico but made in America."

I've been saying to myself for months that I will be going to Wrestlemania 30 next year, as all of these events going on around the show (Axcess, ROH, DG, HOF, etc.) are already exciting me into the idea of being a part of the biggest weekend in pro wrestling every year. To get myself into the mood, I tuned into the WM press conference. Fandango was dancing through a mist of silence. I felt embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. Still going to WM30 though. £10 says Fandango is not.

There's a lot of talk in WWE regarding Cena v Taker next year, so sayeth the Meltzers and Bryans. So if Taker is going to Wrestlemania XXX, he's not losing the streak. He's not losing it anyway and anyone who genuinely thinks otherwise is an idiot, but he's not losing this year, so yeah, no loss for the Undertaker.

http://i.imgur.com/aeD8vJG.jpg http://i.imgur.com/QYZVCES.jpg http://i.imgur.com/RZmGdi1.jpg http://i.imgur.com/FEODxvz.jpg http://imgsrv.froggy101.com/image/wggy2/UserFiles/Image/crockett/cena-punk-zubaz.jpg And this one, accompanied by the genuine caption below from Tajiri: http://i.imgur.com/QQwalGa.jpg "Today Lin Byron exploded two traininggirls tits balloon"

Won't happen. Punk is jobbing out like the dork he is. http://i.imgur.com/OgQPCvc.jpg

As cool as that could be, Owen Hart suggests they won't do anything revolving around descending from the sky.

I'll be around to troll Wrestlemania's podcast.

Well Al Snow would have been as good a choice as any, but given the circumstances the Funker deserves it most.