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58 articles in this category
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Michael Scott's Boom Roasted Quotes
It takes a brave man to sit through a roast performance given by your own employees! And it turns out.. that Michael Scott is not that man. So, what do you do next after storming off? Well, you do what any normal guy would do. You take the day off work and start planning your revenge! Steve Carrell's performance in this episode was so special. And a shout out to Leslie David Baker too, who gets us every time once Stanley starts laughing!
Here are all of Michael's Boom Roasted Quotes from the episode: "Stress Relief" -
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Dwight Schrute's Feelings Quote
The Office has so many brilliant and funny moments. You can stick on almost any random episode and find yourself laughing at all of the absurd things going on. Dwight, of course, was pretty much involved in most of the various shenanigans and tomfoolery. While we love his never ending prank vendetta against Jim, some of our favorite moments come from when they had to team up together for the greater good of the office.
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Dwight Schrute's Dinosaur Quote
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Jim Halpert's Parkour Quote
Does Toby jumping the fence count as parkour? Actually.. never mind, Michael wouldn't have allowed him to join in anyway. In a very long list of the hilarious office activities and shenanigans - for us, parkour ranks somewhere just above planking and below Nelly's paper airplane competition.
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Stanley Hudson's Lighthouse Quote
The 17 Best Michael Scott Fun Run Quotes
Dwight Schrute's Desert Island Quote
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Dwight Schrute's Hunting Quote
Dwight Schrute is a man of many talents. Where do we even start - he's an expert in karate, beet farming, slinging paper products, the list goes on and on. When he's not running Schrute Farms Bed and Breakfast, he's giving speeches for winning the Northeastern Pennsylvania Salesman of the Year award.
In honor of the guy who could do it all (or, at least thought he could), we've decided to cover some of his most brilliant and downright bizarre quotes from The Office.
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Stanley Hudson's Lighthouse Quote
Dwight Schrute wanted to become the Regional Manager. Andy Bernard aspired to become a famous celebrity. And Stanley Hudson? Well, everyone's favorite grump, he just wanted to retire and put his feet up!
We can't say we blame Stanley for wanting a quieter life (after the ordeals he undoubtedly suffered working for Dunder Mifflin). But there's the quiet life, being retired somewhere in Florida... and then there's the sort of quiet that comes from living in a lighthouse all by yourself.
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Stanley Hudson's Jury Duty Quote
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Dwight Schrute's Downsizing Quote
When it comes to fictional Northeastern Pennsylvania Paper Salesmen, Dwight Schrute will surely go down as the best to ever do it. But not just that, jokes aside - he'll actually go down as one of the best tv characters of all time. Period. Right from the very start, his unique personality and bizarre behavior captivated audiences around the world. 200 episodes later and the rest as they say, is history. Here's to the future Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin and a look at some of his very best quotes.
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Dwight Schrute Feelings Quote
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Michael Scott Quote: You Have One Day
When a former employee sabotages 500 boxes of your best paper product and sends it out to your customers, what do you do? Simple. You get ahead of the narrative and call a press conference. And if that doesn't work, and all else fails - you continue to follow the Michael Scott playbook and use the ace up your sleeve. You make an apology video. A lot of fans love this episode, and for good reason too. It's hilarious from the very start to end.
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Michael Scott's No Matter What Quote
The Office already has an enduring legacy which only seems to be getting stronger. Even though it's been well over 5 years since it ended, it continues to gain popularity, finding a home with new audiences all over the world. As a tribute to the World's Best Boss, Michael Scott, we've decided to take a look at some of his best quotes throughout the show. It's certainly not an easy task but we'll do our best to continue to add all of the fan favorites (including our own).
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Michael Scott's Early Bird Quote
The Office will live on forever through what seems like an endless amount of repeatable quotes and iconic moments. Based on the UK series (with the same name), this mockumentary style sitcom really hit its stride after the first season.
This Wise-worm quote can be found right at the very beginning of the episode (see above) and is nothing short of what we expect from the World's Best and Most Creative Boss - Michael Gary Scott.
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Michael Scott's No Matter What Quote
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The Office: Dwight's Riddles To Ryan
What Are Dwight's Riddles To Ryan?
Dwight: Brain teaser. I have two coins totaling 15 cents. One of them is not a nickel. What are they?Ryan: A dime and a nickel.
Dwight: No, I said one of them is not a nickel.
Ryan: [interrupts] But the other one is. I've heard that one before.
Dwight: Okay, a man and his son get into a car accident. They are rushed to the hospital. The doctor says, "there's no way I can operate on this boy".Ryan: [interrupts] "Because he's my son." The doctor is the boy's mother.
Dwight: A man is found hanging from the ceiling.Ryan: [interrupts] He stepped on a block of ice, hung himself, and the ice melted.
Dwight: A hunter --Ryan: [interrupts] It's a polar bear because you're at the North Pole.
Dwight: [bangs desk in frustration] Damn it!
The Office Season 3 Episode 5: Initiation
One of the things fans say they like about The Office is often the cold intro to each episode. Usually lasting around a minute or so, there is almost always a prank or something funny happening which serves as a great segue into the episode.
While we don't usually like Ryan's know it all attitude, in this instance, his constant one-upping of Dwight's riddles is actually hilarious to watch. Bravo, Ryan Howard, bravo.
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Kevin Malone's Nice To Win One Quote
It takes a brave man to assemble the heads of the 5 Families. Okay, technically, two men in this case. But when you need an issue resolved, who do you put your trust in? You don't go to Michael or Jim or David Wallace, you go to the guys who you know will get the job done!
Never forget - Andy Bernard and Kevin Malone went toe to toe with some of Scranton's most powerful and respectable businessmen. And they won.
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Stanley Hudson's Red Wine Quotes
When it comes to the most underrated characters in The Office, Stanley Hudson has to be up there. He didn't have to talk much, his facial expressions said everything. He was a guy who enjoyed the simple things in life! A cross-word puzzle here, a small glass of wine there.
Unfortunately for him, life was never going to be easy having Michael Scott as a boss. Here's to the all times he just wanted to kick back and have a relaxing drink after a long, hard day's work.
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The 27 Best Kevin Malone Quotes
With 9 glorious seasons, The Office has some of the best tv characters of all time. While it's true that Michael, Dwight or Jim take up most of the limelight, every now and then everyone's, favorite office accountant would steal the show.
If you're a big Kevin Malone fan like us, check out these quotes below to relive some of his most hilarious moments.
Kevin: After Stacey left, things did not go well for a while. And, it was hard to see.. It’s just nice to win one. Why waste time, say lot word when few word do trick? I got six numbers, one more and it would have been a complete phone number. Kevin: A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are you just might catch one. Kevin: I have very little patience for stupidity.
Kevin: I do deserve a vacation. Sometimes Batman's gotta take off his cape. Kevin: You go to the bathroom for 45 minutes and everything changes. Kevin: You think this is a great party? This cake has vegetables in it like a salad bar, Robert. Kevin: Do you like it as much as you like men’s butts? No, it's not Aston Kutcher, it's me Kevin Malone. Image Credit: NBC
Kevin: Good old Kevin. He'll do anything. Well guess what? I will not do a good job. Kevin: Angel'a's cats are so cute. You just want to eat them. But you can't eat cats. You can't eat cats, Kevin. I want to be wined and dined and sixty-nined. Kevin: The people here are amazing debaters. I guess you can say they are master-debaters. I am totally gonna bang Holly.
Well, well, well, well, well. That's six wells. Did I get that number right, Dwight? He lives on Sesame Street, Dumbass! I thought Rajinghanda was a boy's name. Turtle meme I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.
Mini-cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of a cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people? Kevin: (practicing CPR, tired and panicked) I can't do this forever. Instructor: It's been twenty seconds.
Kevin: Call it.
Dwight: What are you doing? Kevin: I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket, in a blanket.
The only problem is whenever I try to make a taco, I get too excited and crush it. Jim: Hey Kev. How was your weekend? Kevin: Good, I watched TV for 14 hours.
Image Credit: NBC
Dwight: Do you even know where paper comes from? Kevin: Uh... the man tree put his penis..
Dwight: Okay! okay!
My name is Kevin, that is my name, they call me Kevin, cause that’s my name. More Stuff You’ll Like
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Creed Bratton's Lottery Quote
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that something was, well, a little bit off about Creed. Right from the start, his attempts to stay under the radar were never quite convincing enough.
Maybe it's to do with the fact that he was once a leader of a cult. Or, that he thought he actually worked for a dog food company. In honor of the most sketch and mysterious character on The Office, we've decided to take a look at some of his best quotes throughout the show.
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Dwight Schrute's Enemy Quote
Dwight Schrute was always on the lookout for danger (just ask Roy). He was constantly developing alliances or making new enemies. At any one time in the office, Jim could be both enemy and friend. The question is - Did you prefer when they were rivals? Or, when they were teaming up on the same side?
Check out some of our other favorite quotes, below.
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The 30 Funniest Andy Bernard Quotes
While the Nard Dog definitely divides opinion among Office fans, there's no denying that he also had some golden moments on the show. Whether it was his long-running confusion over his sexuality (Michael, am I gay??), his desire to get into the exclusive Finer Things Club or his penchant to punch through walls - he provided us with a number of good laughs over the years.
If you're looking for the best collection of quotes from Cornell's most eligible bachelor then look further. Here are 30 of Andy Bernard's funniest quotes:
What I wouldn't give for one of Phyllis's classic room clearing farts right now. I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things. You're the deuce I never wanna drop. Oh, it's on. Like a prawn who yawns at dawn. I did this for the little guy. For Joe Six-pack. The guy who wakes up every morning in his $400 a month apartment, wonders how he's going to pay his mortgage; wonders how he's going to fill his car up with oil; wonders "How am I going to pay my kids' orphanage bills?" That guy shouldn't have to wonder where he's going to park.
I'm a little worried that I may have asked out Naughty Nelly instead of Erin. Which would be whole lot less appealing, because Naughty Nelly says yes to everyone. And she might be a murderer William Doolittle at your service. A.K.A. Will Do. How do I find out if a girl is interested? Great question. I usually just assume that they're not. If I had to put Dwight's chances into a percentage, I would say he has none percent chance. I'm the Nard-Dog. The Nard-Man is my father.
I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you actually left them. Andrew Bernard doesn’t lose contests, he wins them... or he quits them for being unfair. Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It's so powerful, even a lot of men can't resist a man singing show tunes. THE FIRE IS SHOOTING AT US! Shut up Dad. I'm taller than you!
You can't let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you. Every compliment has to be backhanded. 'Oh I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair.’ Michael, am I gay? I'm petrified of nipple chafing. One it starts, it's a vicious circle. You have sensitive nipples, they chafe, so they become more sensitive, so they chafe more. It's a tough one. Gotta take precautions. Sorry I annoyed you with my FRIENDSHIP! Toby, it's a joke. How are you not murdered every hour?
Yeah so life gives you lemons and you just have to eat them rinds and all. And if you don't want to eat them your ex girlfriend will shove them down your throat with the help of her hunky new boyfriend. You give me a gift? Bam! Thank You note. You invite me somewhere? Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor? Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness. In my family, we don’t really go out and get things. We put them on a list and Rosa goes and gets them. He may have won the battle but I... will win the next battle. It’s gotta rhyme with “piece.” Fancy Feast! Break me off a piece of that Fancy Feast!
I'll be the number-two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake. I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a... carpenter... that makes stairs. Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding. I'm not Rumpelstiltskin Jim. I can't keep spinning gold out of your shit! Big Tuna is a super ambitious guy, you know? Cut-your-throat-to-get-ahead type of guy. But, I mean, I'm not threatened by him. I went to Cornell. Ever heard of it? I graduated in four years, I never studied once, I was drunk the whole time, and I sang in the acapella group, 'Here Comes Treble’. I'm always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs. More Stuff You’ll Like
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Jim Halpert's Career Quote
Oh, Jim, Jim, Jim - if only you knew then! While there are a ton of funny Jim Halpert quotes out there, this isn't one of them. He had some amazing moments in The Office. Most of them involved playing pranks on Dwight, but he also went through some big character growth too. This is one of our favorites because eventually Dunder Mifflin became more than a job to him, it became his family as well.
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Kevin Malone's Poker Quote
Kevin might have been showing off his WSOP winners bracelet but he must not have known that Phyllis can play cards with the best of them apparently! Hey, it could have been worse, at least it wasn't Toby who knocked him out of the tournament.
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The Office: Angela's Jazz Quote
The Office is one of the few tv shows that just never seems to get old. You can watch it an endless amount of times and still find new things that you never picked up on before. While Angela isn't everyone's favorite character (we get it), we're a big fan.
She never missed an opportunity to throw shade or deliver a back-handed compliment (if she felt in the mood). It's her pettiness and constant judgment that make her such a great part of the show. This is our introduction to some of her very best quotes!
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Dwight Schrute's Immune System Quote
It wouldn't be a normal episode if Dwight wasn't doing the opposite to everybody else. Remember the time he tried to train his feet to work like fingers? Or how about the time when he didn't take one single second for a break? Thankfully, in most of these cases, his good friend (or mortal enemy depending on the day) Jim was always there to call him out. We don't know about you but if someone sneezed on our food, we definitely wouldn't be eating it!
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The 17 Best Michael Scott Fun Run Quotes
What do you do when your employee gets hit by a car? Well, you do what all other managers wish they had thought of. You do the only thing that makes sense! And that's to organize a Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure.
Okay, never mind the minor detail that Michael is the one who hit Meredith, this is still inspirational leadership at its very best! In honor of the world's most inspiring boss, here are our 17 favorite quotes from The Office episode - Fun Run.
Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. No, don't sue me. That's the opposite of the point that I am trying to make. Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not, like, this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised. I'm not superstitious but... I'm a little 'stitious. Is there a God? If not, then what are all these churches for? And who is Jesus' dad? So Ryan got promoted to corporate. Where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas back here in Scranton, I am still top dog in a fairly large pond. So who is the real boss? The dog or a fish? People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit. Well, today I had a triumph of the human body. That's why everyone was applauding for me at the end. My guts and my heart. And while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I'm very, very proud of that. This is going to be a very good year. Very good. Jan is at home. Jim is back. My protege Ryan is at corporate. Good stuff. Andy and Dwight are rocking the sales team. I feel very blessed. Oh! [drives car into Meredith]. [Paces up and down the floor] Ladies and gentleman. I have some very bad news. Meredith was hit by a car. It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital and the doctors tried to save her life. They did the best that they could and she is going to be okay. It's kinda a good news/bad news there. I was able to be on the scene so quickly, because I was in the car that hit her. Yeah, it's only Meredith. Thank God. But did you see the way that they looked at me? Like I was a murderer or something. Yes, it was on company property. With company property. So double jeopardy, we are fine. Pam: Michael, Angela's cat died. Michael: Sprinkles? [sighs and sits down]. I'm sorry, Angela. Man, what a day, huh? How could it get any worse? Her computer crashes with the porn, and then Meredith with the accident and then.. Prinkles! God! That's three things. I'll tell you what's going on. This office is cursed and we need to do something about it.
Pam, you're an artist, right? Think of me as one of your models. You know what, I don't want this to really detract from what we're here to think about today. It's not fair to the people with rabies. And that's the point, right? Fettucine alfredo. Time to carbo load. I'm fast. Very fast! I'm like Forest Gump, except I am not an idiot. There's just one of me. And a thousand of them. And rabies wins. More Stuff You’ll Like
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