7 articles in this category

1. Best Quotes from Friends

   The 90s were full of nostalgia media, but one show danced in the fountain inside of all our hearts. Yes, Friends was an iconic show that followed the experience of six very different friends as they faced trials, tribulations, and the ups and downs of life in bustling Manhattan. This fan-favorite series is still well-loved today, and while times certainly have changed, there is still plenty to enjoy in this fun sitcom. 
    
   One of the biggest reasons watchers return to this show time and again is the hilarious writing. Beyond its 10-year run, the dialogue has kept the show alive spawning memes and bringing everyone back to Central Perk for another cup. Whether you’re more of a fan of Rachel, Chandler, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, or Ross, here are the best quotes from Friends.
   Rachel Green Quotes
   
    
   Starting with the youngest of the six, Rachel evolves from a naive, spoiled girl to a capable professional and mother. She’s had her fair share of sassy one-liners and come-backs, and her on-and-off-again relationship with Ross was a cornerstone of the series. Here are the best quotes from this fierce fashionista.
   “That’s a great story. Tell it while you’re getting me some iced tea.” “No uterus, no opinion.” “Oh, I’m sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?" “Ross! We broke up two years ago. You’ve been married since then. I think it’s okay that we see other people.” “We are dessert stealers. We are living outside the law.” “Just so you know, it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal! “I’m gonna go get one of those job things.” “Today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap, then me.” “I was spoiled, self-centered, and you guys really took care of me.” “You know what I figure? If I can do laundry, there’s nothing I can’t do.” “Who is FICA and why is he taking all my money?” “Isn’t this exciting! I earned this! I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally… not worth it.” “How do you expect me to grow if you won’t let me blow?” “I’m quitting; I just helped an 81-year-old woman put on a thong and she didn’t even buy it.” “Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffee house. First of all, the customer is always right. A smile goes a long way. And if anyone is ever rude to you: sneeze muffin.” “I don’t want my baby’s first words to be ‘how you doin’?'” “You know what? I just shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions anymore.”Chandler: “Rachel, did it bother you when Ross flirted with other women?
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   Rachel: “No, it bothered me when he slept with other women.”Ross: “What about Ruth?”Rachel: “I’m sorry. Are we having an 89-year-old?” “It’s like all my life everyone’s told me, ‘You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe!’ Well, what if I don’t want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat?” “Does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?” “Oh my god, I’ve become my father. I’ve been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn’t see this coming.” “Oh, that’s okay. Girls tend to not like me.” “He’s so pretty I want to cry.” “How do we end up with these jerks? We’re good people.” “It’s a metaphor, Daddy.” “Everyone is getting married or pregnant or promoted and I’m getting coffee! And it’s not even for me!” “Well, maybe I don’t need your money. Wait, wait! I said, ‘Maybe.’” “I’m probably 98 percent happy and 2 percent jealous.” “I’m over you. And that, my friends, is what you call closure.”
   Chandler Bing Quotes
   
    
   By far the most sarcastic of the group, Chandler is the friend with a witty comeback for almost any situation. Don’t worry, though. He has a heart of gold, and definitely someone you’d want by your side through thick and thin. Down-to-Earth and relatable, he is easily the most grounded of the group. Here are the best quotes from Chandler Bing.
   “Hi, I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.” “I say more dumb things before 9 A.M. than most people say all day.” “So it seems like this internet thing is here to stay.” “Could we be more white trash?” “I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me.”Chandler: “Oh dear god. Hold on, there’s something different.”Ross: “I went to that tanning bed your wife suggested.”
   Chandler: “Was that place the sun?”
   “Nice camouflage. For a minute, I almost didn’t see you.” “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” “What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?”10.“I say more dumb things before 9am than most people say all day.” “You didn’t ‘get’ me. It’s an electric drill. You ‘get’ me you kill me!” “When I was younger, I started using humor as a defense mechanism.” “I want to start drinking in the morning. Don’t say I don’t have goals!”Ross: “What are you doing tonight?”Chandler: “Why, do you have a lecture?”
   Ross: “No.”
   Chandler: “Free as a bird, what’s up?”
   “Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple. It opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.” “I am glad we are having a rehearsal dinner. I rarely practice my meals before I eat.” “I’m a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I’ve missed the last twelve hundred times.” “I’m a headhunter. I hook up out-of-work Soviet scientists with rogue third-world nations. Hi, Rasputin!” “I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!” “Oh, We’re just sitting here doing nothing. It’s our rehearsal for tomorrow.” “I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open.” “It’s always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion.” “So, I figure I’ll be crazy man with a snake, y’know? Crazy Snake Man. And I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. ‘Run away from Crazy Snake Man,’ they’ll shout!” “All right, I took the quiz. And it turns out I do put career before men.” “I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act. I mean, it’s like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.” “On second thought, gum would be perfection. [To himself] Gum would be perfection? Could’ve said, “Gum would be nice,” or, “I’ll have a stick,” but no. For me, gum would be perfection. I loathe myself.” “You’re a door. You only like knock-knock jokes.” “It’s so hard to care when you’re this relaxed.”Ross: “Don’t you want a washboard stomach and rock-hard pecs?”Chandler: “No, I want a flabby gut and saggy man-breasts.” “It’s seven years ago. My time machine works!”
   Monica Geller Quotes
   
    
   An Energetic perfectionist, Monica is equal parts mothering and dominating, carving out her role in the group. She is hard-working and the practical one, so she’s usually the friend helping the others while navigating her own chaos. And she definitely has a way with words with her blunt, and sometimes harsh one-liners, but sometimes a firm hand is what you need! Here are Monica’s best quotes.
   “Now, I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember: If I am harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.” "I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. And what's the opposite of man? Jam." "If you're too afraid to be in a relationship, then don't be in one." "I just had sex with someone who wasn't alive during the Bicentennial." “Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort, and instead I found everything that I’ve ever been looking for my whole life. And now, here we are, with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul-mate, my friend.” “Why didn’t you make a copy and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?”     “Do you really think the best reason to get married is because you’re sorry?”     "OK, just to be clear, comedy with the plates will not be well-received." "Phoebe and Gary think they're the hotter couple. So, to prove them wrong, we have to go and have a ton of sex." “You’re supposed to double the tax, not double the tax of Romania.”  “They’re as different as night and... later that night.” "You go down there, and you suck up to him. I mean, you suck like you've never sucked before." "Having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow down." "Here's the last of your boxes. I'm just going to label it 'What were you thinking?'" "We better stick to the routine; we don't want to look stupid." “Your little Harmonica is hammered.”  “Okay, hypothetically, why won’t I be married when I’m 40?” “Why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself.”  “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.” “It’s never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.” "Still... It's just such reckless spending." “He used to have this recurring nightmare. It really freaked him out...that I was going to eat him.”    “We only ordered one!” “I wonder what age it is that you stop being able to put both legs behind your head.” “You don’t tell me what to do. I tell you what to do!” “I really think I might kill someone tonight.”  “I know you all hate me, and I’m sorry, but I don’t care.” “That’s how it starts. I don’t need to eat the cake, I’ll just smell the icing.” “Okay, then. I don’t stink. I’m a good chef!” “I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning...!”
   Joey Tribbiani Quotes
   
    
   We all have that one ride-or-die friend who will always have our back; Joey is that guy. Funny, charming, and with a heart of gold, he is easily the most loyal. However, he is a little slow on the uptake, which can make for great comedy. Whether he’s the butt of the joke or just being over-the-top, Joey is easily a fan favorite. These are the best Joey Tribbiani quotes.
   “Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.” “Over the line? You’re so far past the line that you can’t even see the line! The line is a dot to you!” “Here come the meat sweats.” “I like it. What’s not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Good.” “These are just feelings. They’ll go away.” “You can’t just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?”Joey: “Come on, Chandler. I want this part so much. Just one kiss. I won’t tell anyone.”Chandler: “Joey, no means no!”Joey: “If he doesn’t like you, this is all a moo point.”Rachel: “A moo point?”
   Joey: “Yeah. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.”
   “That’s right, I stepped up! She’s my friend and she needed help. If I had to, I’d pee on any one of you!” “You hung up on the pizza place? I don’t hang up on your friends.” “So why don’t you be a grown-up and come and watch some TV in the fort?” Monica: “Joey, you know, maybe you’re just not used to kissing men. Maybe you just tensed up a little bit. Maybe that’s what you need to work on.”Joey: “Yeah, that makes sense.”
   (Joey looks over at Ross)
   Ross: “Over my dead body.”
   (Joey looks over at Chandler)
   Chandler: “And I’ll be using his dead body as a shield.”
   “I don’t like it when people take food off my plate, OK?” “I look a woman up and down and say, ‘Hey, how you doin’?'Joey: “What happened to playing the field?”Phoebe: “Well, it doesn’t feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It’s like I’m working in the field!”Ross: (About Joey’s finger in his mouth) “What is that taste?”Joey: “What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.” “Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.” “Now, let’s go, baby. It’s food time. Bring it, bitch.” “Food? Oh, give me!” “Joey doesn’t share food!” “I’m curvy and I like it.” “It is a love based on giving and receiving, as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have and receive.” “You’ve been BAMBOOZLED!” “Everything’s fine, it’s just a little crush.” “You know, with that goatee, you kind of look like Satan.”Chandler: “Condoms?”Joey: “We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.”
   Chandler: “And condoms are the way to do that?”
   Phoebe: “Je m’appelle Claude.”Joey: “Jet aplee blooo.”Chandler: “Hey, you cry every time someone mentions Titanic.”Joey: “Those two only had each other!” “Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?” “Alright, alright, alright. I was young, and I just wanted a job, OK? But at the last minute, I couldn’t go through with it. So they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can’t, ’cause there’s people havin’ sex on it."
   Phoebe Buffay Quotes
   
    
   Phoebe is a unique soul, who’s had a bit of a rough start. However, she’s still so sweet, despite her blunt and hilarious one-liners. Never afraid to be herself, she’s quirky and flake with a touch of bohemian flair. Easily one of the funniest in the group, Phoebe is not afraid to speak her mind. Here are some of her most iconic quotes.
   “Come on, Ross, you’re a paleontologist. Dig a little deeper.” “Something is wrong with the left phalange.” “Oh, my God, a woman flirting with a single man? We must alert the church elders!” "If you want to receive emails about my upcoming shows, please give me money so I can buy a computer." "Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, It's not your fault." "This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much you’re probably gonna marry it! Then it won’t work out and you’re gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy." "I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother." "No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. Hey, how do you sleep at night?" "It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, you know, holding claws like…" "Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, 'Ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage.' Little did she know God was thinking, 'Ok, but that's it'." “One really does have a stick up one’s ass. Doesn’t one?” "Okay, first... I'm not crazy. And second... say it, don't spray it." "I asked for the news, not the weather." "You’re the cook! Without you, it’s just me driving up to people’s houses with empty trays and asking for money."Rachel Green: Does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?Phoebe: I don’t know, you might be the first one. "Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say. It could say, 'Ross Geller, Good at Marriage!' Y'know? Mine's gonna say, 'Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive." "Chandler still thinks I'm pregnant and he hasn't asked me how I'm feeling or offered to carry my bags. I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him." "You know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys. You could be one of those guys." Joey: The casting director doesn't talk to friends! She only talks to agents!Phoebe: What a sad little life she must lead. "When I was growing up, I didn’t have a normal mom and dad or a regular family like everybody else. And I always knew that something was missing. But now I’m standing here today knowing that I have everything I’m ever gonna need. You are my family." "Are you in there, little fetus? In nine months, will you greet us? I will … buy you some Adidas." "You should see me when I actually… Oh actually, no, I look good." "I am a pacifist. So I am not interested in war in any way. But you know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all." “Well, if she isn’t (dead), cremating her was a big mistake.” “This is the nicest kitchen. … The refrigerator told me to have a great day.” “Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.” “Princess Consuela Bananahammock.” “I’m very wise, I know.” “I’m a lady, Monica. I don’t kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself.” “Didn’t you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off, you know, like when you were running toward the swings or running away from Satan?”
   Ross Geller Quotes
   
    
   Easily the most neurotic of the “Friends” group, Ross is a memorable character for more than one reason. Whether it’s his ridiculous one-liners or his on-again-off-again relationship with Rachel, he always seems to make people laugh. While not everything about the show aged well, Ross’s antics and quips can still make you chuckle. Here are some of the best Ross Gellar quotes.
   “I’m the holiday armadillo!” “We were on a break!” “I tell you, when I actually die, some people are going to get seriously haunted.” “No falafel for you!” “Well, Hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing. Monica did.” “I’m FINE!”Rachel: “Can you take care of Emma just for today?”Ross: “Sure, just lend me your breasts and we’ll be on our way.” “Unagi is a total state of awareness.”Phoebe: “Ross, how about you? Sex or food?”Ross: “Sex!”
   Phoebe: “What about sex or dinosaurs?”
   Ross: “My God, it’s like Sophie’s Choice.”
   “You-you-you… you threw my sandwich away? My sandwich? MY SANDWICH?!” “All of which proves that I thought of Jurassic Park first.”Ross: (frantically presses buttons on the answering machine) “Oh my God! Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?”Rachel: (from behind him) “I got off the plane.” “If you’re going to call me names, I would prefer ‘Ross, the Divorce Force.’ It’s just cooler.” “I knew you’d be my death, Phoebe Buffay!” “Ugly Baby judges you!” “You know, we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that’s half-human, half pure evil.” “Wow. This is the first time I’ve walked down the aisle without the possibility of it ending in divorce.” “There was nothing in your father’s fridge except heavy cream and bacon. I think I solved the mystery of the heart attack.” “Y’know what? I’m gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in ‘99!” “Hey, remember when I had a monkey? Yeah, what was I thinking?” “I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.”Monica: “Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex until the wedding.”Ross: “A no-sex pact, huh? I seem to have one of those going with every woman in America.” “Pivot. Pivot. Piv-ot. Piv-ot. PIVOT!” “Yes. Yes, it is… in prison!” “I grew up in a house with Monica, OK. If you didn’t eat fast, you didn’t eat.” “You have no idea how much this hurts!” “Get off my sister!” “I honestly don’t know if I’m hungry or horny.” “Well, I didn’t. I didn’t propose. Unless… did I? I haven’t slept in 40 hours. And it does sound like something I would do.” “Ah. Humor based on my pain.”
   I’ll be there for you
   While not everything about the show Friends aged well, it’s still one of the most iconic and well-loved sitcoms from the 90s. Plus, there’s still plenty of golden one-liners and snappy writing to make your sides ache. Times have changed, but Friends will always be there to make you think back on a time and remember what made this show a stand-out of its time.
   

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2. The 25 Best Outer Banks (OBX) Quotes

   If you're anything like us and straight binge-watched through Outer Banks - the good news is that Netflix has already confirmed the show for Season 2. The bad news is that we might have to wait a while for it. The Royal Merchant. Long lost Gold. The OBX. While this summers hit was billed as somewhat of a drama/mystery, at times it had the feel-good vibe of a comedy.
    
   RELATED: Can You Pass This Outer Banks Quiz?
    
   While we sit tight and wait for the next season to come out, for now - here's a look back at our 25 favorite OBX quotes.
   John B: Look, love just walked in, okay. JJ: Kooks versus Pogues. They always, always win. Pope: We're in the middle of 'Kooklandia'. This is the last place I want to be. Sarah Cameron: Your secret's safe with me, John B. Kiara: No Pogue on Pogue macking.
   JJ: I can’t let you take the blame for something I did, you’ve got too much to lose. John B: I can’t give up on the hunt, man. Sarah Cameron: It’s a good thing we’re on a secret mission. In fact, we probably shouldn’t even be using our real names.  Kiara: You guys, not everything is a king pin movie. Pope: “And to quote The Hobbit, “Down, down, to Goblin Town. Down, down, you go, my lad.”
   JJ: This is war, Pope. They hit us, we hit them.  Sarah Cameron: Can we drop the whole Pogues versus Kooks thing? John B: Pogues. Pogies. The throwaway fish. Lowest member of the food chain.  Pope: Yeah, you have a death compass. JJ: This is your captain speaking, HMS Pogue coming in for landing. 
   John B: All right. This is figure eight. The rich side of the island. Home of the Kooks. So, guess where we don’t live.  JJ: Okay. Not all of us can afford unlimited data plans, Kiara. John B: I just had the best day of my life. Sarah: John B, you’re gonna blow our cover.
   Kiara: We only have one Earth, Pope. We should be giving it 100 percent, bare minimum. John B: You know, wars have been started for less, Sarah Cameron.
   Sarah Cameron: What are you, like a fugitive, John B? John B: I don’t know. More like a refugee or something. 
   JJ: Dude, i wasn’t taking mental polaroids the entire time. I was under duress, okay.  Sarah Cameron: One last mission and then I’m out of this, dirty, dirty game.  John B: I looked liked I got kicked out of the barbershop quartet.  JJ: I’m telling the truth. For once in my goddamn life, I’m gonna tell the truth. 
   JJ: Look, all I care about is her cut comes out of your share. John B: Wow pope, that’s a rare outburst of emotion.  Sarah Cameron: When people get close to me, I feel trapped. And I bail and I blame them for it. John B: Our mission this summer is to have a good time, all the time. John B: That’s JJ, my best friend since the third grade. He’s about as local as they come. Latest in a long line of fishing, drinking, smuggling, vendetta-holding salt-lifers who made their living off the water. 

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3. The 15 Most Badass Alfie Solomons Quotes - Peaky Blinders

   We’re back with another round of Peaky Blinders quotes, taking a look at one of the most popular characters in the show - Alfie Solomons.
   While we're never quite sure if he's working with or against Tommy, that's what makes him so fun to watch - along with his quick-trigger temper and unflinching violence, of course.
   Any time Tom Hardy's name flashes across the credits, we know we're in for a treat. Here's 15 badass quotes that will make you want to rewatch the series all over again!
   Peaky Blinders - Alfie Solomons Quotes
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
    
   

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4. The Other Guys Quote: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly"

   Aim for the bushes?? When it comes to just about any Will Ferrell movie - by now, we've all learned to expect the unexpected. To embrace the absurdity, and enjoy the laughs along the way. While The Other Guys isn't brought up as often as a lot of his other comedies, there's just something about it that gets us every time.
    
   Maybe it's the fact that Will Ferrell is playing the down to earth character and Mark Wahlberg is the crazy one. Maybe, it has to do with The Rock and Samuel L. Jackson flying off a building for no good reason. Regardless of why it works, from the very start, this movie is filled to the brim with hilarious moments that keep us entertained.
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5. The 23 Most Insane Wolf Of Wall Street Quotes

   The Wolf Of Wall Street announced itself with a big bang in 2013. Unapologetically brash, it gave us a 2 hour glimpse into the inner workings of Wall Street through the real life account of Jordan Belfort. Featuring what seemed like a never ending cocktail of drugs, booze and of course - the odd financial crime thrown in for good measure, this was one of the most entertaining movies of the year.
   If you tend to just watch the first hour like we do and ignore the inevitable downfall then don't worry - we've got your back. Check out 23 of the best and most ridiculous quotes from the movie below. Enjoy!
   The Wolf Of Wall Street Quotes In this Article:
   Best Wolf Of Wall Street Quotes
   Donnie Azoff Quotes
    
   Best Wolf Of Wall Street Quotes
   
   Let me tell you something. There's no nobility in poverty. I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man. And I choose rich every frigin' time! - Jordan Belfort Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket. - Mark Hanna My name is Jordan Belfort. I'm a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens. The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week. - Jordan Belfort  It's his first day on Wall Street. Give him time. - Mark Hanna  On a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. - Jordan Belfort
   [throwing money at the FBI agents] Fun coupons! I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my "back pain", Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine... Well, because it's awesome. The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it. This right here is the land of opportunity. This is America. This is my home! The show goes on! The real question is this: was all this legal? Absolutely friging not.
   They're gonna need to send in the National Guard to take me out, cause I ain't going nowhere! So you listen to me and you listen well. Are you behind on you credit card bills? Good, pick up the phone and start dialing! Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! You wanna know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on wall street.  John, one thing I can promise you, even in this market, is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners. I ask them to judge me on my losers because I have so few. People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit. See those little black boxes? They're called telephones. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret about these telephones. They're not gonna dial themselves. Donnie Azoff - Wall Of Wall Street Quotes
   
   You had a minute? And today, you needed to clean your fishbowl, today? Sweetheart, you have my money taped to your tits. Technically, you do work for me. You show me a pay stub for $72,000, I quit my job right now and work for you. I don't wanna die, Jordan! I've done a lot of bad shit, I'm going to hell! On new issue day? On cocksucking motherfriging new issue day? This is what you do! Hey Paulie, what's up? No, everything's fine. Hey listen, I quit! Max Belfort: What kind of hooker takes credit cards? Donnie Azoff: A rich one!
   

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6. Happy Gilmore Quotes: Our favorite lines and scenes

   It's been more than 25 years since Happy Gilmore came out. And while Adam Sandler has continued to make some pretty great comedies (and we'll admit, some pretty bad ones too), for us - Happy Gilmore will always be one of his best. It's got all of the signature pieces we've come to expect from his movies, but there's just something else that makes it extra special. Maybe it's the mountain of funny quotes or Ben Stiller's hilarious cameo - either way, there's no doubt that a whole generation of fans grew up quoting this one line for line.
   Quick Access:
   Happy Gilmore Shooter McGavin Ben Stiller More Quotes Happy Gilmore Quotes
   The price is wrong, bitch! You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? [to his golf ball] You little son of a bitch, ball! Why you don't you just go home? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? Answer me! Suck my white ass, Ball! Hey, my girlfriend is dead, you know. She fell off a cliff and died on impact. If I saw myself in clothes like that I’d have to kick my own ass. Just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy. Tap tap taparoo. Hey, why don't I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What'd ya say? I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive. You’re gonna die, clown! During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody. Shooter McGavin Quotes
   
   I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! Damn you people, go back to your shanties. Just stay out of my way... or you'll pay! Listen to what I say! You lay another finger on me, I burn the house down and piss on the ashes. It's great, the other day one of his fans mooned me. He had Happy written on his ass. HA on the one cheek, and sure enough PPY on the other. Stop fraternizing with the help Gilmore. Just hit your ball.. if you can find it! Damn you people. This is golf. Not a rock concert. Ben Stiller Quotes
   Ben Stiller's role as the twisted, orderly nurse deserves a special mention. Even though he's in only a handful of scenes, he almost steals the show with his electric cameo.
   
   You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! My fingers hurt (old lady). Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. You’re in my world now, grandma. More Quotes You'll Love
   Chubbs: “It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips. Chubbs: "Damned alligator bit my hand off." Bob Barker: "Now you’ve had enough.. bitch." Bob Barker: "I don’t want a piece of you, I want the whole thing!" Heckling Fan: "You suck, ya Jackass!" Hopefully your favorite quotes made the cut. Stay tuned as we'll continue to take a look at all of the best Adam Sandler movies, with Billy Madison next up.
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7. The funniest quotes from Talladega Nights

   Are you ready? It's time to shake and bake! Check out the funniest and most complete collection of Talladega Nights quotes below.
   While most people tend to gravitate towards Anchorman or Step Brothers when it comes to the dynamic duo of Will Ferrell and Adam McKay - we can't help but indulge in another viewing of Talladega Nights instead. Seriously, it's hard to explain, we get it. But there's just something that makes this movie stand out above all the rest.
   Maybe, it's that being a Nascar driver is actually a good look for Will Ferrell. Or maybe it's due to the iconic quotes that can still be found in today's conversations. Regardless, The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby will go down in the pantheon of great modern comedies.
   Talladega Nights Quotes In this Article:
   Best Talladega Nights Quotes Ricky Bobby Quotes Cal Naughton Jr Quotes Baby Jesus Quotes Jean Girard Quotes Best Talladega Nights Quotes
   If you ain’t first, you’re last. - Ricky Bobby Don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! - Lucius Washington Here’s the deal, I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. - Rick Bobby You gotta learn to drive with the fear, and there ain’t nothing more God damn frightening than driving with a live cougar in the car. - Reese Bobby Ricky, remember - The field mouse is fast, but the owl sees at night. - Chip Well, let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders. I am too drunk to taste this chicken. Ricky Bobby I don’t know what to do with my hands. - Ricky Bobby You can’t have two No. 1s. - Ricky Bobby No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high-level income, it’s not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300. - Ricky Bobby  Are we about to get it on? Because I’m as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now. - Ricky Bobby You don’t understand. You don’t understand because you don’t understand liberty. You don’t understand freedom. So, you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell! You hear me? - Ricky Bobby Daddy, you made that grace your bi*ch. - Walker Bobby Did that blow your mind? Because that just happened! - Ricky Bobby Wow. I feel like I’m in Highlander! - Ricky Bobby I hope that both of you have sons... Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt. - Ricky Bobby From now on, you're the Magic Man and I'm El Diablo. - Ricky Bobby Ricky Bobby Quotes
   
   If you ain’t first, you’re last. - Ricky Bobby Here’s the deal, I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. - Rick Bobby Well, let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders. I am too drunk to taste this chicken. Ricky Bobby I don’t know what to do with my hands. - Ricky Bobby You can’t have two No. 1s. - Ricky Bobby No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high-level income, it’s not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300. - Ricky Bobby  Are we about to get it on? Because I’m as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now. - Ricky Bobby You don’t understand. You don’t understand because you don’t understand liberty. You don’t understand freedom. So, you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell! You hear me? - Ricky Bobby Did that blow your mind? Because that just happened! - Ricky Bobby Wow. I feel like I’m in Highlander! - Ricky Bobby I hope that both of you have sons... Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt. - Ricky Bobby From now on, you're the Magic Man and I'm El Diablo. - Ricky Bobby Cal Naughton Jr Quotes
   
   We go together like cocaine and waffles. I wet my bed until I was nineteen. There’s no shame in that. You’ve gotta cross over the anger bridge and come back to the friendship shore. I like to picture my Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt. ‘Cause it says like, I wanna be formal but I’m here to party too. I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party. I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life. Baby Jesus Quotes
    
   Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces newborn infant Jesus, don't even know a word yet. - Ricky Bobby Dear tiny Jesus, in your golden fleeced diapers with your tiny little fat balled up fists. - Ricky Bobby Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father Chip. We hope that you can use your baby Jesus powers to heal him and his horrible leg. - Ricky Bobby Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin’ there in your ghost manger, just lookin’ at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin’ ’bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin’ me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers. - Ricky Bobby Dear Lord Baby Jesus, or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesús, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino’s, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family, my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome, striking sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, or T.R. as we call him, and of course, my red-hot smoking wife, Carly who is a stone-cold fox. - Ricky Bobby Jean Girard Quotes
    
   Like the frightened baby chipmunk, you are scared by anything that is different.  Aaaaah, Ricky Bobby! Now we shall dance. And yes, it will be a slow jam. Why do you want me to break your arm so badly? What is that, a catchphrase or is that epilepsy? Now it is time for the matador to dance with the blind shoe-maker More Stuff You’ll Like
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