Naitch

http://i683.photobucket.com/albums/vv195/DCFC_2009/847753Clint-Eastwood-Posters.jpg Only pussies and Commies dislike Clint Eastwood. And even they're lying about said dislike.

Wait, we're actually complaining that VINCE MCMAHON is inducting STEVE AUSTIN now? REALLY?! Austin inducted Bret, Dusty's inducting The Funks, Flair's inducting Steamboat and if the Von Erichs get inducted, I can't think of anyone other than Michael Hayes to induct them etc etc etc. In saying that, Austin's induction has to end with him giving Vince the Stunner on the stage in front of everyone.

He mentioned Ric Flair's name and the Ross audience didn't throw out a bunch of WWOOOOOOOOs? For shame on them, I say. For. Shame. Someone was taking the piss booking Mickey Wouwke who played Wandy 'The Wam' Wobinson in The Westlew on Jonathan friggin' Woss.

Not when they're still alive though.

- Mark Henry's 'GIVE IT UP OR GET IT TOOK' line to Kurt Angle. - Mark Henry's suit wearing promo where he mentioned all the people who faced Taker at Mania (throwing out a woooo before saying Flair's name too), mentioning all of them failing to beat Taker and throwing out the line 'Many have tried...but they were not me.' - First time Finlay busted out the ring apron spot in WWE, beating Matt Hardy so bad he almost beat the weird out of him. But then, not even Fit F'n Finlay could beat the weird out of that insane hillbilly. - Finlay beating up those pesky midgets. - DREADED STOMP! DASTARDLY CUSTOMERS! NEVER BACK A RABBIT INTO A CORNER! Pretty much any time Booker T ever did commentary in WWE. - When Trish Stratus kicked Christy upside the grill, breaking her shoe in the process and ad libbing 'Damn, girl, your big fat head is so hard it broke my damn shoe' or something. - Christian sweating it out in Kurt Angle's chicken suit because he wanted to lose a couple pounds to qualify for Light Heavyweight status so he could go after some DOUBLE GOLD~! Neither Edge nor Christian have been as entertaining since. - Edge's random 'Mick, we've gotta go, we've got surfing lessons' line when Foley was interrogating them about who ran over Austin. Neither Edge nor Christian have been as entertaining since. - Foley being all 'You know guys, I was a three time WWF Champion and I never had my own dressing room' followed by Edge going 'But, um, Mick, you never change your clothes' followed by Foley deadpanning 'That's a good point.' Neither Edge nor Christian have been as entertaining since. - When Steve Austin was all pissed off and shit as leader of the Alliance and was backstage and said that he was going to whoop the ass of the next person that walked through that door...and RVD was the next person walked through the door. Cue crazy crowd reaction and Austin becoming a shrinking violet. - Back before 'WHAT?' ruined his career and was relatively fresh, the 'Your name is Hugh Morrus? What? Humourous? Is that supposed to make me laugh? What?' - 'BADGES?! WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' BADGES!' - Any time Dusty on commentary marked the funk out for La Parka or El Dandy. - This: [YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value=" name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src=" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE] I have about a billion and one more. Wrestling being the ever moving forward insanely ridiculous BIDNESS that it is, there's SO many little great moments one forgets.

Channel 5 and TNT/TCM. I think Bravo showed it too.

I got me my Dusty induction of the Funks anyways. All that's left now is for Terry to swerve Dusty's fat ass and cheapshot him after having collected his plaque and acted all nicey nicey with Da Dweam to start off with.

Meh, they're both kinda shitty. Their loud 'GRR WE SO ANGRY' promos on Roxxi and Taylor a couple weeks ago on Impact were laughably bad. Maryse shits all over them playing a bitchy, aloof heel and she doesn't even have nearly the same amount of segments or mic time dedicated to her to get the character over.

I bet (but then ignore my predictions because it's me) one of those two shows ends with him taking a big, fat, stinky RKO and then Orton standing over him. And, STILL, we don't know if he's actually even wrestling at Mania. I'll like my Austin involvement regardless because he's Steve F'n Austin but I'd prefer him to do something more than just be the ref in an Orton match or some such shit.

I expected shit and got worse than shit (what's worse than shit? TNA?). Anyways, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky look like a mother/daughter tag team. They look like they should be starring in some cheap porno with Angelina as the haggard, crotchety, chain smoking 40 year old mother of teenage Velvet Sky's boyfriend who takes Sky and shows her the ropes in the art of carpet munching loving when her son isn't home yet. And that is that. As they say.

Of course it was thrilling to the masses Hogan winning the belt because he was Hulk Hogan and he was winning the belt but were the masses who were paying every single night and selling out MSG and whatnot to see them line up the latest challenger for Hogan to knock down less thrilled? How does one gauge? It's just strange to say that a face ALWAYS works better as a challenger considering Hogan went 5 years as a babyface Champion in what was one of the top drawing periods in the history of wrestling and considering that the WWF had been using a tried, tested and ultra successful formula for, what, 20 years even before Hogan had won it using Sammartino, Morales and Backlund as babyface World Champions for year after year and the promotion building up heel challengers for said babyface World Champions to knock down before moving onto the next heel challenger, building them up, knocking them down and on and on and on. Guys like Ivan Koloff, Stan Stasiak, Sheik et al were transitional heel Champions used to quickly pass the belt onto the next babyface World Champion for him to have a long run with the belt where they'd again repeat the same formula of building up a heel challenger by putting them over an upper midcard babyface and whatnot and then having the babyface Champion beat them. Formula worked and Sammartino and Backlund weren't selling out MSG every night with a formula that wasn't working.

http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/5379/31444518ms9.png http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/31444518ms9.png/1/w413.png

SERIOUSLY, enough is enough because once again, if they don't have Dusty induct the Funks and then have Terry call his ass out and go on his usual worked (?) tirade against the Dweam and have them brawl on the stage or some shit, to quote a modern day philosopher, there's not much justice in the world. Austin and then the rumoured addition of Watts, Steamboat and the Funks? They could add Braden Walker and the Gymini and it'd still be the best Hall of Fame lineup yet. Not that the WWE Hall of Fame means a whole hell of a lot but a Hall of Fame without Terry Funk in it is one without much Hall, without much of and definately without much Fame going for it.

This. It'd have been hilarious to see the flip/reversal had it been Cena or Batista or someone but then thems be the internet double standards. That isn't to say that I'm condemning Jericho because, well, I'm not but still funny to imagine the vitriol directed at a John Cena had he smacked a woman in the chops. Jericho tried to tell the world for the last year about lowlife fans and no one would listen and now look what happened. IT'S STILL REAL TO US, DAMMIT!

Edge ain't done shit for like 3 years (and even then I wasn't a fan of him. Best Edge was when he was dressing up as fat Elvis in Memphis and helping Christian lose a couple pounds so he could get DOUBLE GOLD~! and stuff and that was like 9 friggin' years ago), pretty much since the Cena feud where they both helped elevate one another and both were good for each other. Even in the Cell buildup where people were comparing him to Ledger's Joker or some shit and praising him to high heaven for his work he was hilariously hammy and scenery chewing and terrible because he's a shitty actor and his 'crazy' consists of jutting his jaw out, showing a lot of teeth and pulling at his hair a lot. I remember the praise for the segment where he was intimidating Vickie in the corner or something and he was all 'BOOGA, BOOGA, BOOGA! GO CRAZY?! DON'T MIND IF I DO!' and then I finally got round to seeing it and was like 'Really?! That shit?! We're praising THAT shit now?!' (okay, I didn't literally do that but you get the point). I mean I've seen crazy in wrestling, I've seen Terry Funk, I know Terry Funk and Edge, sir, is no Terry Funk. He ain't even no Heidenreich. Also seems to me that literally. Every. Single. One of his matches consists of some shitty overbooked shenanigans to cover up for the fact that, honestly, he's dull and he isn't any good. I dunno, I haven't 'gotten' him the last few years and I doubt I ever will. It's a toss up between, I guess, him, Trips and Angle as to who indeed is the most overbearingly dull wrestler on TV. Not a contest anyone wants to win, I should think.

Oh, silly billy, EVERY match involving Kurt Angle is a ***** MATCH OF THE YEAR~! candidate. Should just shake things up a little and drop title belts altogether. Have the wrestlers compete over gold plated, diamond encrusted dildos or something.

Vince McMahon also created ECW.

I do still like that people on message forums are bigger marks for a wrestler working STRONG STYLE~! on the indies in front of 200 smarks making chants about selling the arm than the wrestler is himself and also know what's better for a wrestler's career than the wrestler himself does. It's the biggest wrestling promotion in the world and if he debuts he'll get worldwide exposure and guaranteed money. 'But...but...they'll tone down his style and he won't be allowed to stiff people in the face anymore.' But it's like we're not talking about the same promotion where Regal, Umaga and Finlay all work a snug style just fine and where Benoit got over. Mysterio, Guerrero, Tajiri et al all were 'toned down' and they all got over and made it work and if he was any good, he would too and he'll get said money and said worldwide exposure working for said biggest promotion in the world without having to kill himself in front of some Green Lantern hoodie wearing eejit who times matches with a stopwatch and shit while doing so.

Oh yeah, I know that they're obviously going the brother route, it was a tongue-in-cheek question more than anything because last time they were on TV together working a mini-feud with, I think, Jericho and that other guy, it was as if a mandate came down from up on high telling everyone 'DON'T MENTION THEY'RE BROTHERS' so you had the commentators going on about them starting in wrestling together and being associates in the past but never once mentioning they were brothers and both of them forgetting it too and stuff. 'Twas all very strange. I mean they'd been one of the biggest tag teams of the previous five years and, for whatever reason, someone decided they weren't to be known as brothers anymore. I think every single person who's ever wrestled in the professional wrestling has tried a Dusty Rhodes impression. Shit, we've all tried it ourselves too, I'd venture. I give Austin's a solid 8/10.

AC/DC never became stars until the WWF used 'Highway to Hell' for Summerslam 98 so in a sense Vince McMahon did create them. True story.

Triple H at present, and for at least the last year or more (well, um, a lot longer in my eyes but ESPECIALLY the last year or so since he won the belt and moved to Smackdown and started cracking jokes like he thinks he's Don Rickles or some shit), has been the most uninteresting, boring top level guy of the last 20 years and at present is probably easily the most boring and stale wrestler on TV ('moreso than Kurt Angle,' you say? Well, yeah, probably). This isn't me talking about his relationship with the McMahons, backstage influence yadda yadda yadda, it's as a purely on screen performer and as a purely on screen performer he's one of the most dull main eventers in history and bores the everloving shit out of me. On the Smackdown side of things, I like Smackdown but the main event scene of Edge, Triple H and Jeff Hardy is, ah, well, it's, ah, not for me. To put it nicely. And my random comment that doesn't require a thread is that you think when Christian debuts someone might remember again that him and Edge are supposed to be brothers? Simultaneous amnesia occurring between two brothers last time they were on WWE TV together whereby they both simultaneously forgot that they were brothers was the darndest thing I ever did see in all my 35 years in the sport of professional wrestling.

The Mexicools' character wasn't as black and white (so to speak) as just being an embarrassing racial stereotype, they were mocking, parodying and throwing racial stereotypes back in the faces of white middle America. Shit, Juvy pretty much said so in promos (least I think he did). 'This is what you see us as so this is what we'll be' and whatnot. It was no different from the Gangstas eating fried chicken and watermelon during promos in SMW or whatever.

Bill Watts is going in then. Big territorial star as a wrestler, promoter of one of the best ever territories (if not the best), his promotion made a bunch of guys who went on to be big stars in the WWF national names beforehand (JYD, Duggan, DiBiase, Roberts yadda yadda yadda) and helped shape a lot of what their future WWF characters would be, taught Jim Ross a hell of a lot about being a great announcer and remains super, super influential to this day. Jim Ross will be inducting him apparently. No Funks, no dice though. I want Terry to spot Dusty in the audience, go on a tirade against him and challenge him to a fight in the parking lot, still working a feud 30 years on. Or maybe it ain't no work. One never can tell with The Funker.

And ain't it funny how when Stephanie McMahon is feeling insecure about her appearance they book an angle on TV whereby someone ridicules the appearance of one of the females on their roster? Not really sure if having her husband make HILARIOUS~! fat jokes about the wife of a dead wrestler makes her feel better about herself but whatever floats their boat and all that. Still, it's going to be just fantastic having about three months of more zany HA HAs from wrestling's answer to Phil Silvers whilst Edge runs around doing his brilliantly well acted (cough) 'GRRRR me so angry at you, Triple H' facial expressions. Yep, just fantastic...

Either way, whatever happens, I lose because, man, Jeff/Edge/Triple H at the top of Smackdown is sooooo dull. Shit, put the belt on Taker and him and Umaga can feud over it and then make the main event scene on Smackdown those two and, I dunno, Festus, Maryse, MVP and MY MAN ZEKE. Or just anyone but those other three because, yowzer, they interest me as much as licking out Ann Widdecombe's ass crack.