Naitch

To be fair, he did also do this: [YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value=" name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src=" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]

HE'S...HE'S...HE'S GONNA PUKE! HE'S GONNA PPPUUUKKKKEEEE! Vince pops for some weird ass shit.

How many Wargames matches were there in NWA/WCW? 13? At least 8 of those are better than the best ever Lethal Lockdown match with the obvious standout ones (the first one, 1991 and 1992) absolutely shitting all over Lethal Lockdown. Shit all over it, followed by Road Warriors using AJ Styles to wipe their holes with. While Arn Anderson bleeds in the background and Jim Ross screams really loudly because you can't hear him over the crowd heat.

Didn't someone think it'd be a good idea to give Jenna Morasca, I dunno, more than 12 minutes of training? She didn't know how to RUN properly...RUNNING. You can kinda feel bad for Sharmell who at least tried to make something out of it and has some degree of charisma and whatnot and you can especially feel bad for Kong who throughout literally the whole match was sporting a 'Seriously, I'm part of this shit now?! I remember when I used to be a somebody back when I main evented Impact with Gail Kim' facial expression and by the end of it was basically just taking the piss out of the whole thing. And, again, what is the point of Jenna Morasca? I mean, I don't get what use she has, she's a bit of a munter (and I particularly liked her wearing so much makeup you'd need a jackhammer or a chisel to take it off), can't talk, has no charisma, is Z-List at best, just had the worst match in professional wrestling history and can't run or slap. Can't. Run. Or. Slap. It started badly with the entrance and just went so downhill after that there wasn't even any hill left. And they put this shit on a PPV knowing full well it was going to be shit. Bolt nearly crippled herself too during the myriad of shit. So, all in all, well worth putting on a PPV card. Somewhere though Jackie Gayda is sporting a shit eating grin and saying quietly to herself 'thank you, Jenna Morasca. Thank you.' This PPV was the shits too.

The only good thing Seth Green ever did was get his ass beat by Johnny Drama.

Shit, 'h' ain't even nowhere near 'w' either. Maybe it was merely the result of a subconscious yearning and/or wish fulfillment for Dusty Rhodes to be a part of my general existence. If...nay, when this happens I shall have stories a plenty to relate to all and sundry. And, hey, being a friend of Dusty would mean he'd push me towards the belt and/or leech off my heat. SHIT YEAH.

One of them will earn bragging rights for coming up with a decent PPV name one of these days. Shit, Dusty works for them, he came up with Starrcade (well, 'borrowed' it I should say), Great American Bash and whatnot. WWE Da Muthaship is better than Bragging Rights, WWE Plundah is better than Bragging Rights, WWE Da Paywinda is better than Bragging Rights, and now Coke Zero presents WWE Dusty Rhodes' Abnorminally Large Birthmark is better than Bragging Rights.

'Who the fu*k hired Raven?' Is, by accounts I've heard, the exact quote Vince used after seeing Raven backstage after he re-signed. Said reaction apparently stemming from Raven being a bad influence (partying, whoring, general Raven-esque shenanigans) on Shane when he was in the WWF in the early 90s. It would be pretty fu*king hilarious if Bruiser Brody was still alive and some guy in a Green Lantern t-shirt called him Frank to his face. They'd be picking pieces of him off the concrete for weeks.

DOES THAT MEAN I CAN JOIN MENSA TOO?! Because, man, a group of Portia Perez fans is totally the kind of group I'd like to party (oops, 'party' used as a verb. They probably wouldn't appreciate that in Mensa) with. I'd even make crepes. Or bring roofies. Assuming there'd be females at that particular party. I mean, there would be, right?!

Is it true that 90% of Portia Perez fans are regist...

Shawn Michaels was a credit to his profession and to humanity itself when he agreed to put over Bulldog as planned after Bulldog dedicated their match to his cancer stricken sister. What a guy.

That wasn't his point at all. His point related to what Darkstar said; relating to the tiresome and cliched habit people have of, for some strange reason, getting INDIGNANT because WWE calls their wrestlers 'superstars' and getting a hardon because TNA calls their wrestlers 'wrestlers' like it's a big deal and like it's some excuse to put TNA up on a pedestal and worship at the feet of Dixie Carter. Or something. Except now TNA too called their wrestlers 'superstars.' And that is that, as they say.

- Jake Roberts on Haku - Terry F'n Funk sums up all that is great about professional wrestling in a few short lines. - Arn Anderson. - Tony Schvovneneu2722inone - Cactus Jack.

Regardless of whether they're his true feelings or not (and really, now we're actually suggesting ulterior motives as to why some guy picked certain matches as his own personal favourites?), I would at least like to think (and, Jesus, would hope) that CM Punk isn't really that much a mark for himself that he cares more about some dirtsheet writer's personal opinion (and it is just that) in giving one of the matches he had in front of a couple hundred guys wearing superhero t-shirts and making up masturbatory, insider, 'hilarious' chants 5 STARS~! than he does about winning a big match at Wrestlemania in front of 70,000 people and winning his first title in WWE. Because he'd be an eejit if he was. And any cliched smark talk of 'superstars' and 'WWE Universe' and licking up to management and on and on and on forever and ever and ever can't really negate that. And, hey, what would CM Punk do if he went to WWE and became a jobber like Shannon Moore? He'd buy a house, like Shannon Moore.

Awww, see, 'supremely' offensive would suggest that I had reached the absolute zenith of offensiveness. I'm confident I could be way more offensive than that. And should I ever have kids, I'd ensure they'd have way better taste than to be in the audience at a Shimmer show, silly. Which is besides the point, at no point did I suggest in the question that they were specifically child abusers. I suggested they were on the sex register. There's a difference. Which is even more besides the point, it was an offhanded, perhaps exaggerated (perhaps?) comment on the sleazy and, frankly, disturbing, bedroom wrestling-esque nature of some quarters of the male audience of all-women wrestling promotions. I dunno, have the offensive police arrest me or something.

On, I guess, a slight sidenote of the general topic (and I do feel like we're stuck in some never ending loop or timewarp when it comes to discussion of women's wrestling on this forum), you know what I always find weird and creepy and, yes, honestly, slightly perverted? Male wrestling fans who 'mark out for' and seem to get off on female wrestlers doing bladejobs and wearing the crimson mask and whatnot and who post pictures of, I dunno, Mickie Knuckles covered in blood on wrestling forums because of how gosh darn AWESOME they think they are. Ultimately we're wrestling fans and we're a sadistic, bloodthirsty bunch and we dig a good blood feud and we dig Flair getting his blonde hair dyed red for the night and I dunno if it's some weird sexism or pissing all over equal rights and the equal rights notion of 'WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO BLEED TOO, DAMMIT!' (assuming some such notion exists...which it probably doesn't) on my part...but I don't think it is and I don't think it's weird to find it weird and quite sleazy that people can dig women doing bladejobs. I dislike women's wrestling less than most too and I've said a hundred million times before how good a heel Trish was (best heel on Raw during her time as a heel. Better than Triple H, Christian et al. Yes, really), like Mickie, like Santina and think Maryse is probably the best heel worker on TV right now (yes, really. Maybe. I guess. Well, she's really freakin' good anyway) but I never ever ever ever ever ever ever, not in a billion years, EVER want to see any female wrestler doing bladejobs to cover themselves in blood. Even the ugly ones. Like Mickie Knuckles. But, hey, maybe that's just me.

I shave, shower and shite at least once a week and sometimes I even remember to wipe me hole. Go me.

Is it true that 90% of the audience at Shimmer shows are registered sex offenders and the other 10% just haven't been caught yet? Because that's what I heard.

I watched the Letterman video and that Pratt (name works on so many levels) just comes across as more really very dull than downright hateable. And TNA don't exactly have a Letterman to take the piss out of him either. Man's still the master.

People, apart from teenage girls, actually watch The Hills? Never heard of the guy. At least I'd heard of K-Fed. Hate him already though if only because he's called Spencer Pratt.

Is this merely because it sometimes doesn't treat, what is anyway, a ridiculous concept known as 'professional wrestling' as SERIOUS BIDNESS? Because, I mean, it is a ridiculous concept, has been since day one and I don't really see any real problem in someone taking the ridiculousness up another notch in a self aware, niche kinda way making it even more, you know, fun. Wrestling needs the likes of the Florida Brothers, Human Tornado and CHIKARA just as much as it needs Terry Funk punching bastards square in the jawbone.

Ain't nothing that says more about professional wrestling in 2009 than a silent, exotic, monster wrestler using bloody Twitter. That noise you hear is The Sheik spinning in his grave.

Arik Cannon. Apparently.

The Funker is apparently coming out of retirement (at 65 years old) again in September. Flair will apparently be the referee for the match. I hope he's still wrestling when he's 85 because it wouldn't be professional wrestling without Terry Funk coming out of retirement.

The Storm/Crazy one was made all the better by the fans pausing for a second after Storm asked them who they were cheering for and then starting a 'MEX-I-CO' chant. I can distinctly remember an English crowd chanting along with a Duggan USA chant.