Naitch

Darned if I can remember the exact details of the Seven Deadly Sins angle he came up with and which then got nixed because I have the memory of a goldfish with amnesia (I believe it involved Raven brainwashing random jobbers and, I believe, Hurricane into committing the seven deadly sins or some shit but then Tommy Dreamer trying to save them or some faeces) but I believe it was heading towards a Flock type group. I quite liked the super brief little alliance Raven and Taker had when Taker was a heel in 2002 that they should have kept going but which went nowhere because, I mean, 'Who the fu*k hired Raven?' after all. Not that I'm at all shallow at all but: http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/3775/wickedwitchofthewestly5.jpg http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/wickedwitchofthewestly5.jpg/1/w371.png http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/3610/jc9wwlqkw09qppbddd943pvbs0.jpg http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/jc9wwlqkw09qppbddd943pvbs0.jpg/1/w390.png Spot the difference. Smart that they turned her heel though because that babyface turn went over like a fart in church mainly because she was probably literally the most irredeemable babyface of all the times. 'Cept now Maryse will probably play 2nd fiddle to her on Smackdown even though Maryse is about 420 million times better as an on screen performer. And also, incidentally, doesn't have a voice that could cut glass. Not that she ever actually speaks but you get the point.

You see what 'Family Guy' does to people? IT'S TEARING US APART.

Tom Jones looks like he bathes in Ronseal. Man needs his own personal Geiger counter attached to him because he's getting to dangerous levels.

Except that it wasn't booked as cheap shock value. Again it was a great little touch which added significantly to Mickie's character and worked perfectly in the context of the feud and the match. Complaining about that being too gimmicky and taking away from the 'wrasslin' is like complaining Flair's strut was too gimmicky and took away from his match or complaining that Dusty should never have shook his ass or waved his finger at his opponents because it was too gimmicky. All those little touches worked perfectly for their character and so did crazy Mickie grabbing Trish in her lady regions to make her freak out and gain a psychological advantage. It's strange to me it being seen as anything other than that.

Wait, we haven't seen the last of him?! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AH, DAMN YOU, COWELL, YOU MANIAC! DAMN YOU TO HELL! Besides, I thought he was using Same Difference as their version of HSM. A slightly more incest heavy version but his version nonetheless.

This show really depresses me. I'm not even really sure why and being that I'm not a wordsmith, I can't exactly put it into words but it just...just...depresses me. It's moved beyond just not particularly liking it (and maybe that came, partly, from the old thing of people telling you so much how good something is, then you watch it and say you don't really like it so then you're treated as less than that sweaty fluff shit you find between your toes after wearing socks and shoes on a hot day so then your resentment towards said something rises even further because it's made you out to be a pr*ck with no taste amongst the 'cool' inner circle of people who love said something. And between that, American Pie, Ben Stiller and Adam Sandler, I'm on the outside looking in on a bunch of different shite people seem to love) into a state of depression overwhelming me whenever I see it anywhere on TV. Maybe it's just the complete lack of charm and overwhelming nastiness of it or something but it's a pretty sad reflection on the state of the human race that it became so popular. Anyway, I've grown to hate it, in case I hadn't made that point clear.

How did the groin grab take away from the match? It fit both the context of the feud and the match as well as the character Mickie had become perfectly. She was a crazy, obsessive bint who was getting in Trish's head and making her lose control and stuff by throwing in some lesbian shit and thus throwing Trish off balance. From what I remember, Trish had her in a Headlock or something so Mickie grabbed her and Trish freaked out, thus breaking the Headlock, freeing Mickie, who then taunted her with the, ahem, V licking thing. All worked to mess with Trish's head. It was no different than, say, the psychology of the Goldust character playing on predatory homosexual stuff to mess with the heads of the male wrestlers.

Maria beat her on Smackdown a couple weeks ago so she gave her a horrible, clumsy looking kick in the belly welly and then shrieked something unintelligible in that horrible voice of hers in a post-match backstage segment involving the Bella Twins and the Intestine Brothers, Colon and Semi-Colon. Them being the fine, upstanding, chivalrous babyfaces that they are just stood by watching and scratching their balls, firstly, while Michelle kicked her and then, secondly, while Maria was writhing in pain. 'Twas all very strange.

Yeah, seriously, I can't even imagine the rest of the 11 got anywhere near that amount of in-your-face publicity day after day after agonising Goddamn day. Shit, at times it was bordering on Nazi indoctrination or essentially blackmailing people into voting for him just because he happened to be Irish or something. Talent or likeability didn't even come into it and you were made to feel like an asshole if you didn't like him. 'B...B...BUT, HE'S IRISH, YOU HAVE TO VOTE FOR HIM.' 'Well, no, I mean he isn't any good and doesn't deserve to win...' '...' 'What are you, English? Fu*k off over to England if you're not going to vote for him then.' You sir, only thought you had it bad, I lived in bloody Eoghan central. I'm seriously not even exaggerating when I say that after he did the show here on Monday, every single page of the Derry Journal/News, bar the Sports section and the classifieds yadda yadda yadda (and he may well have sneaked his face into those too if he'd had the chance), featured him in some way. Every 2nd bloody car on the road had one of his stupid flags. Shop windows with his poster on them. It was like some terrible Orwellian nightmare. Still, I'm willing to bet people forget his name in, I dunno, a week's time because the people who watch these shows are fickle, fickle people.

Main saving grace of Eoghan not winning is that him murdering 'Hallelujah' with his weedy little voice would literally have caused the end of days and Arnie's too busy off being Governor to have saved us this time. Cohen's probably happy with the royalties at least and is probably affording himself a wry smile at some random talent show taking his dark little song and thinking 'WELL, IT IS CALLED 'HALLELUJAH', WOULDN'T IT BE PERFECT AS AN UPLIFTING CHRISTMAS SONG FOR OUR WINNER?' Maybe I can open up a local newspaper now and not see his doughy, Podge and Rodge/Chucky cross breed little face staring back at me. On. Every. Single. Bloody. Page. Maybe I can hear the end of 'our wee Eoghan.' Hopefully he disappears off the face of the Earth like 90% of all participants in these shows. Laura Doherty, anyone? No? Exactly. EDIT - Alexandra it is. There we go. See you next year.

Chyna? Really?! Man, Chyna is seriously one of the worst wrestlers of the last decade, male or female (could be either/or). Pretty much every female wrestler on TV right now is better than she was. She was over, sure, but everyone on the roster was over then. The Godfather was over and he's one of the most worthless people of the last decade too, ditto Billy Gunn. It was a time when everyone got over pretty much by osmosis or some shit. Her sole positive attributes were that she was a female who was built like a brick shithouse and happened to be the first woman pushed to be as dominant as the men and the men were specifically told to sell for her and make her look good. Her getting over really had nothing to do with any level of talent (or lack thereof) she had. She was very well protected and had people like Chris Jericho and The Radicals bumping around for her and yet I don't think I've ever seen a Chyna match which was anything more than worthless. The rare matches she did have the women (What'd she have? About 4? Two vs. Ivory, one vs. Lita, one vs. Trish. Seems about right anyway. She was too good to be facing women, you see) were all the shits. She was clumsy and awkward and had two left feet, came close to killing some of men on a couple occasions, her selling was terrible and, oy, this forearms. Those Goddamn forearms. 'Twas a good day when they finally got rid of her.

Besides the point, 'The Wrestler', whilst supposedly not totally a downer and has elements of humour, explores the darker, seedier aspects of wrestling and explores what happens after a guy's been on top but is now broken down and working seedy little promotions for a handful of banknotes. Rourke's character also has a heart attack from the years of self-abuse and drug taking from being a part of the wrestling business. I doubt Vince McMahon or whoever else would want to promote a film which explores wrestling as being anything other than shiny and happy where dreams are made and guys get to main event Wrestlemania and dream of winning the World Title yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah. I would also argue that 'The Wrestler' highlights wrestlers going over the match beforehand and shows them blading and stuff and WWE wouldn't want a film which kills kayfabe altogether, except, well, they did allow Blaustein's cameras to show The Rock and Mankind going over spots before their Rumble match but then you hear about Vince complaining that Hogan's show is killing kayfabe but then they did do 'Tough Enough' but then...ah, I dunno. Anyway, promotions pretty much never ever cover the negative connotations of being a professional wrestler (JBL did do the promo on Michaels about how if Michaels isn't careful he'll be selling autographs in tiny buildings alongside some other broken down old timer, but that was a very rare case and even then it was just a less than subtle dig at, I dunno, Flair I guess) or the darker aspects of what happens off screen or post stardom.

Delightful additions to the forum in recent days, I must say.

Yeah, this. Way too subjective and incredibly flawed system. Especially flawed is when someone just tacks on a star rating for a match and never actually says why it got said rating. Or when someone says it was a ***3/4 match and not a **** match. Wait...what?! We're going by 1/4* now? Shit, why not break it down even further and take off 1/100* because the referee hadn't ironed his shirt that morning. Someone define a so called '5 star match.' Go on.

Clarkson lost his voice after a piss up in Dublin. True story.

Well, she did LITERALLY own the stage and LITERALLY made that song her own.

You're forgetting about what a journey they've all had. I mean, shit, Ruth had a journey all the way from Spain. LITERALLY world class.

'Girlfriend' is a terrible, terrible song even by Lavigne standards, probably the worst song of the last 5 years. Haven't a clue what they were thinking giving Diana that. 'Mamma Mia' made approximately a squillion quid in UK cinemas and Eoghan sang an ABBA song, which was a smart choice. Granted, it was the shits, but it was smart for Cowell to okay it because of how big ABBA are at present.

http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/2714/eoghanquiggandchuckyfrold6.jpg http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/eoghanquiggandchuckyfrold6.jpg/1/w400.png It's uncanny.

Never mind Diana, let's talk about the one and only Harry Hill taking the piss out of Eoghan's horrendously horrid 'voting face.' [YOUTUBE]<object width="480" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_W7U3HuUUE&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_W7U3HuUUE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="295"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE] LOOK AT THAT FACE...LOOK AT IT, DAMMIT!!!! It's reason enough not to have him win. I mean, Jesus H. Christ.

Crying like THAT on national television? Really?! And he calls himself 'Irish'? You're embarrassing us with that shite because we don't do no stinkin' emotion over here, you little bell end. It's why we drink so much, we use the drink to suppress any emotion, you see. Still, if he was going to school on Monday morning at my old school, he'd get the piss taken out of him aaaallllll day for that and someone would probably draw a big ass dick on the back of his school blazer in chalk. What a pussy. I apologise to the rest of this wee island for him being from my county. He's playing in the Guildhall square in Derry on Monday night too. I wonder if I'll go see him...Probably have better things to do now that I think about it. Like taking a rusty machete to my testicles. Alexandra or JLS to win, PPPPLLLLEEEAAAASSSSEE!!!!!! Shit, they can swerve us at the last second and say Danniinnininniii whatsherface was actually in the competition all along and was representing the over-25s (her face is under 25 though) and I'd take even her to win over ****ing Eoghan. Alexandra won't win though because she's too similar to Leona. And, yes, I do mean because she's also black. It's the way these shows work.

It was just from watching a promo a while back on youtube (that I can't bloody find now or I'd post it) that made me remember how good he really was. It was him and Mustafa in his old neighbourhood where his momma still lived and he was doing this super serious and emotional promo about how they flat out HAVE to beat The Eliminators for the tag titles because winning the belts gives them a bigger pay day and he needs the money to get his momma out of that piece of shit neighbourhood she lives in and stuff. Ain't no better motivation for winning belts than you need the money to give your dear old momma a better life. Some of the race baiting stuff in SMW was indeed tremendous too. Throwing the racism of the Southern crowds back in their faces by cutting promos while eating fried chicken and watermelon because if that was how they were seen that was how they were going to be and whatnot was great. WWE kinda tried it with The Mexicools but it wasn't quite as good. I know he's most known as the crazy guy who swears a lot (which is fair enough, I suppose), tried to kill Vic Grimes and, amongst other things, wishes cancer on the children of any wrestler he doesn't like and then backtracks when confronted saying he was only working the dirtsheets and stuff but he's one of the better talkers no one ever mentions and is, honestly, one of the most charismatic wrestlers of the last 10-15 years. Mustafa though was awful. In every conceivable way.

Whoosh is how he came to that conclusion. Whoosh, sir. And just so this post also doesn't go over people's heads, JobberJoe was taking the piss out of a post made recently.

I'm not really sure if it's a pity per se, it'd have been nice to maybe see him get a run with the belt as a heel in the WWF I guess but even then I don't think he was any more deserving than, say, Rick Rude who was as good as he was and who didn't get it either. Still, he had a good career without ever being a truly top guy. Some guys really don't need the belt anyway; Jake Roberts for one. Anyway, random comments thread and all: You know who the most underrated talker of the 1990s is? New Jack. Yep.

They ran one on Impact last Saturday anyway. He'd probably have debuted sooner had it not been for Kaz's injury although I've also heard rumours they were putting someone else in the role, Senshi being one of the names mentioned, although someone probably just pulled him out of their asshole (not literally).