Random News 2014

[Guest bigmatt]

The Onion’s Person Of The Year 2014

(TIE) Malala Yousafzai And John Cena

 

The Onion, for the first time, names two equally deserving honorees as our Person of the Year.

 

When The Onion’s editorial board convened to determine its Person of the Year for 2014, the members of our selection committee were in agreement that identifying the individual most worthy of this distinguished honor would be no easy task. Indeed, when faced with reducing hundreds of esteemed innovators, philanthropists, and thought leaders to a single deserving recipient, the selection committee ultimately proved unable to choose just one man or woman who most embodies the values of integrity, benevolence, and courage that define this most prestigious of accolades.

 

Thus, following weeks of impassioned debate, The Onion is proud to present, for the first time ever, the two co-winners of our Person of the Year award: Pakistani human rights advocate Malala Yousafzai and 12-time WWE champion John Cena.

 

Over the course of the last year, who could be said to have accomplished more and had a greater impact on the world than these two? Yousafzai: an impassioned defender of women’s rights who has risked her life to campaign for equal education opportunities for girls. Cena: a physically dominant strongman and submission specialist who has ascended to the top of the professional wrestling world through his combination of charisma, athleticism, and devastating finishing moves, such as the “Attitude Adjustment” and the “STFU.”

 

Truly, no two more outstanding or inspirational figures could be said to exist.

 

Of course, though equals in the eyes of The Onion, Yousafzai and Cena took markedly different paths to this year’s honor. Yousafzai survived a vicious assassination attempt by a Taliban gunman, battling the odds to surmount her near-fatal injuries and emerging more dedicated than ever to advancing the ideals of equality and freedom. Much as Cena inspires countless millions of wrestling fans across the so-called Cenation, Yousafzai inspires young girls around the globe, even in spite of constant death threats, and earlier this year made history by becoming, at only age 17, the youngest-ever recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.

 

No less remarkable are the accomplishments of Cena, whose work inside the ring has rightfully earned him praise and respect the world over. Just as Yousafzai survived an assassin’s bullets, the fearless WrestleMania headliner has endured hundreds, if not thousands of suplexes, backbreakers, and steel chair blows to the head, and yet has refused to submit to a three count time and time again. And like the Pakistani activist, Cena also proved his bravery, standing tall in the face of a range of foes every bit as vicious as the Taliban, including Roman Reigns, Brock Lesnar, and Kane. And though Cena’s list of victories is long and illustrious, perhaps no occasion was more heartening than his heroism at this year's Money In The Bank pay-per-view, in which he improbably won the main event ladder match to secure the WWE World Heavyweight Championship belt, a celebrated prize rivaled only by the Nobel committee’s offering.

 

As stated, the voting process for this year’s award was competitive and impassioned. Faced with two icons of seemingly equal merit—Malala Yousafzai and John Cena—our panel was unable to decide which one was more deserving of our highest honor. Cena or Yousafzai? Just the fourth wrestler in history to win multiple Royal Rumble matches or a relentless crusader for equality and progress? Some choices cannot be made.

 

And though Cena technically won by a handful of votes, the selection committee ultimately determined that to place one above the other would be a disservice to them, to their legacies, and to you, the reader. Therefore, it is with great pleasure that The Onion presents our Person of the Year award to both humanitarian Malala Yousafzai and wrestler, actor, and rapper John Cena, two sources of inspiration to a world in desperate need of heroes.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-onions-person-of-the-year-2014-tie-malala-yous,37661/

[dsrchris 190]

:lol :lol :lol

 

I honestly don't know what I'd do without The Onion and Kayfabe News these days...

[Kam 243]

Shocking news...

 

TRINITY FATU DROPPED FROM TOTAL DIVAS CAST

 

- When the second half of season three of Total Divas returns on E!, one cast member who has been part of the show since season one won’t be returning. Trinity Fatu, better known as Naomi, confirmed on Twitter her departure from the show. “For many fans who’ve been asking I am no longer apart of the #TotalDivas cast,” she wrote, adding that it was not her choice to drop from the show. “I still support my girls and I’m excited for the new season.” In the new promo for the return of the reality series, one person who was also absent from it was Summer Rae although at this point it has not been confirmed if she’s out as well. Alicia Fox and Paige join the cast for the remainder of season 3, which returns on January 4.

[Guest bigmatt]

Last night, Darren Young wrestled on a house show for the first time since his injury.

[Guest pheadley]

my favorite season is coming. cant wait to sit down with a nice cold glass of milk and some cookies with the fire burning to see who the first inductee in the 2015 hall of fame will be. hope they will announce soon.

[Guest Sparrow]

Last night, Darren Young wrestled on a house show for the first time since his injury.

 

Bring back the Prime Time Players!

[Guest Boyo]

Not "news" per se, but not really thread worthy either, but I was wikiing away for the last couple hours on how many pro wrestlers are related to each other, be that father, son, cousin, brother, uncle, nephew, grandfather, great-grandfather, Man & Wife, and all the in-law possibilities that entails.

 

Blinking Nora, I think they're all related somehow :lol. Staggering amount of people.

 

Cheers!

[Guest pheadley]

i was surprised to see that roddy piper was related to the harts

[Guest bigmatt]

Brock Lesnar is scheduled to be on Raw on Monday.

 

Potential upcoming WWE TV spoilers:

 

 

 

 

Nothing too momentous but just in case you don't want a surprise return spoiled: Randy Orton wrestled on the Boxing Day MSG House Show and is back after his filming commitments. Wade Barrett also appeared at a house show, he didn't wrestle but he's apparently cleared and is due back as and when they want them.

 

[Guest Jamster26]

Anyone know what's happening with Jarretts wrestling company? Will there be a TV slot etc?

[dsrchris 190]

Nothing's been confirmed yet. I imagine they'll have some kind of announcement perhaps during the Wrestle Kingdom show they're "presenting" in early January.