The Twilight Series: Books and Films

[The Fury 65]

twlight

 

I'm sorry people i seriously don't get why this is so popular to those that haven't read the books. The acting is meh, there's just nothing that gets my attention or makes this film a stand out. I seriously can't believe they made a sequel, though i guess with new director the fans can hope it's better than this garbage!!!!!

[Guest Hanahbananabob]

twlight

 

I'm sorry people i seriously don't get why this is so popular to those that haven't read the books. The acting is meh, there's just nothing that gets my attention or makes this film a stand out. I seriously can't believe they made a sequel, though i guess with new director the fans can hope it's better than this garbage!!!!!

 

The film really isnt that great, the actress who plays Bella is pretty awful...i just watch it because i like the books. New Moon does look a lot better than twilight

[Paul 584]

Because the books are total works of high art? :lol

[Maxximus 353]

Hey, not everything can be The Stand, Darkstar. ;)

[Guest Saz]

How about everything that has anything to do with Twilight being a woman's rape fantasy in prose.

 

Now I cannot criticise a woman's fantasy, but I can criticise people actually saying it makes good watching!

 

It's like saying hostel was good for it's intelligent view on torture as a medium of pleasure.

[Paul 584]

Hey, not everything can be The Stand, Darkstar. ;)

 

I'm honestly trying to figure out if this is meant to be ironic or not, what with me saying The Stand wasnt a good book (and I accused King of the same as Meyer, neither use 1 word if 5 will do the job).

 

This topic page on cracked says it all

 

http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/

 

Highlights (that are true) about the books:

 

Stephanie Meyer's exemplary writing style is demonstrated in this conversation between Edward and our narrator Bella:

 

"Aren't you hungry?" he asked, distracted.

 

"No." I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full - full of butterflies.

 

 

Book Two begins with Bella angsting about reaching the old age of eighteen, which she worries will make her some sort of cradle-snatching freak because her boyfriend Edward is eternally seventeen. The fact that a 109-year-old vampire is sexually interested in an emotionally immature girl 90 years his junior apparently doesn't bother her.

 

 

This novel thus teaches two important lessons to young girls everywhere:

 

1) If a guy dumps you and says he doesn't love you anymore, he doesn't mean it. All you have to do is beg and destroy your life to prove that you really love him, and he'll come right back and love you even more!

 

2) It is perfectly cool to string along innocent but decent guys who are crushing on you and then dump them immediately as soon as your ex-boyfriend reappears, and totally normal if said ex-boyfriend forbids you from seeing your old friend. After all, your love for your ex must be far stronger, because he makes you feel 'alive' and 'dangerous' since he's always on the verge of killing you. And stalking you. We can't really mention that enough.

 

 

 

Halfway through, Stephenie Meyer realizes that Jacob Black is far cooler than Edward and performs a quick character assassination by having him mouth-rape her. Bella punches him and runs away, but later discovers she loves him, which teaches us more lessons:

 

1) If a girl says she doesn't love you, just keep sexually assaulting her. Eventually she'll realize she likes it.

 

2) Leading two guys on for years because you 'love them both' is perfectly acceptable, as long as you feel really bad about it at some point.

 

 

 

Then Jacob falls madly in love with the newborn baby girl.

 

No, we don't mean in the sense of 'Oh, I fell in love with that kitten the moment I saw it'. We mean in love love. Really, what we're trying to say--and let us know if you don't understand--is that Jacob the borderline rapist and the tiny baby vampire chest-burster are going to get married and have babies.

 

What Jacob did, Meyer explains, was "imprint" on the baby. Imprinting, in the Twilight universe, is what happens when a werewolf finds his soulmate. It means that the two of them are now destined to be together, no matter what. What if the girl is unwilling at first? Too bad, because she isn't any more! It's the psychic equivalent of GHB.

 

We must have misunderstood, though, because we found this quote from the author:

 

"They ended up being vampires in the way they are because I have strong opinions on free will. No matter what position you're in, you always have a choice. So I had these characters who were in a position where traditionally they would have been the bad guys, but, instead, they chose to be something different-a theme that has always been important to me."

 

Apparently Jacob is choosing to be a pedophile.

 

 

 

:lol

 

 

But, as I have said before, they arent the worst books, in fact if the first 2 had been combined and the crap taken out they could have been pretty damned decent.

[Guest Phil]

(and I accused King of the same as Meyer, neither use 1 word if 5 will do the job).

 

J.K. Rowling springs to mind when I think of authors like that.

[Paul 584]

Oh for sure, the later books are horrible for that. Though Rowling and King dont use as much purple prose as Meyer.

 

 

All that aside, I enjoyed the bit of the Twilight film I saw. The acting and effects were very 'made for TV' but if considered like that it became passable.

[Guest Anime Otaku]

I think the problem with the acting is that the actors have openly said they are only doing it for the money and they hate the books.

[Paul 584]

Yeah the guy who plays Edward (Robert Patterson?) wasnt overly impressed with the books. :lol

[Guest Phil]

Oh for sure, the later books are horrible for that. Though Rowling and King dont use as much purple prose as Meyer.

 

 

All that aside, I enjoyed the bit of the Twilight film I saw. The acting and effects were very 'made for TV' but if considered like that it became passable.

 

not read any of the twilight books, but i thought the first film was so unimaginably dull that I can't bring myself to go and read them, especially if they're as bad as that cracked article makes them sound.

[Guest Jung]

Still yet to watch (500) Days of Summer but I've only heard great things about it, so will definitely have to catch it on DVD.

 

As for Twilight, I watched it with my girlfriend who likes soppy stuff, but even she thought it was sh*t. Just an awful awful movie, but you can see why teenie girls love it. It's so ridiculously un-subtle about everything, all the dialogue and acting is so in your face obvious, that it's like they think you're too dumb or lazy to work anything out for yourself, so they just make it blatant, making any potential for romance or love, utterly impossible to blossom.

 

But then I guess 14 year old girls just want to see Robert Pattinson gaze at them mournfully saying they can't possibly be together, oh the woe. I hope the books aren't as bad, but it's not like I'll be reading them anyway.

 

Plus you know with the new one, that it's being promoted heavily on how many male nipples you see and rippling torso's, that if you watch it for the plot or the acting, you'll probably wish you watched one of Eddie Murphy's latest movies while washing your face in someone's sick, instead.

[Guest Beefhead]

New Moon, as with the books the films seem to be getting much better as they go along. The werewolves were alot of fun, the fights and action scenes were pretty damn good. All in all I enjoyed it. Although as somebody who named his daughter after a character in the books its obvious I enjoyed the books anyways.

[Guest Popsi]

I think the problem with the acting is that the actors have openly said they are only doing it for the money and they hate the books.

 

I'm a big Twilight fan (for my sins) and I haven't heard that, where did you read it? I've read a tonne of stuff saying Robert Pattinson (Edward) and Kristen Stewart (Bella) hadn't read them before getting the parts but nothing to say they hated them and were only in it for the money. I'd probably expect that of Kristen Stewart but would be surprised if Pattinson said it.

 

I went and saw New Moon on friday, and I did enjoy it though I had the same qualms with it as I did the first one. In the books, Bella & Edwards romance is devotion to the absolute point of obsession. I just don't get that from the films. I quite like Kristen Stewart as Bella but she doesn't have the emotional range in New Moon to portray the agony Bella is in. The wolves are good, though the CGI is a bit ropey at times and it was good to see the rest of the vamps fleshed out a bit. The timing of the movie was a bit off, bits that should've had more time and depth for pretty superficial and other bits that weren't so important had loads of time. Overall, it's hard to compare it to the first one as both films had such different feels, but I think I prefer Twilight, just (even if the vampire running scenes are well dodge.)

[Paul 584]

I thought it was common knowledge that Patterson wasnt a fan of the books. I'm sure theres a youtube video with him being as diplomatic as he can be about it. The dislike oozes through anyway. :lol

 

http://io9.com/5096763/twilight-makes-for-the-best-fan****-ever

 

the four stars should say wa nk. :lol

 

edit:

 

From that link

 

USA Today blithely invited a storm of **** from every literary spec fic nerd out there when they asked, "What's better, the 'Twilight' series or 'Harry Potter'?" That insulting question drew comment from the likes of Peter Parker ("Twilight is why MJ and I aren't married anymore"), Harvey Dent ("You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself read Twilight"), Yoda ("Bullshit the Twilight series is, and stupid you are"), Bristol Palin ("Twilight increases teen pregnancy"), and even Jane Austen ("Bitch, please"). One concerned citizen even suggested that Stephenie Meyer was a Skrull — that would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

 

:lol

Edited November 22, 2009 by Paul

[Guest Popsi]

I hold my hands up, I'd never read any of that stuff from him. Serves me right for not buying Empire for a year really!

[Paul 584]

I think I've only read 2 issues of Empire. 1 of those was DC's and the other was left at my house by Antihero. :lol

[Guest MojoPogo]

I think I've only read 2 issues of Empire. 1 of those was DC's and the other was left at my house by Antihero. :lol

 

Blast! My secret is out!:lol

[Guest ScottyB]

New Moon which was shit. Think the opposite of the first film happened to me, went in with decent expectations and came out thinking I'd wasted 2 hours of my life.

[Guest Dante Spears]

I just finished watching New Moon and I'm bewildered to say that it wasn't horrible. I mean the acting was abhorrent, premise was as stupid as ever, but hell, it wasn't a waste of time.